Dating : I need some « Post First Date » advice
I [27M] went out on a first date with a girl [22F] this past weekend, and pretty much everything went right. Her and I basically hit it off. After the night was over, I told her I wanted to see her again, which she reciprocated.
A couple of days later I asked her if she wanted to see me the following weekend, to which she said she probably needed to focus on studying (she is in a tough program with an exam on the monday) and she told me she’d love to go out again after the exam. Which is totally reasonable.
Really not a whole lot to complain about here, only thing is that I am trying not to over text. She doesn’t text very often, and I’m just worried she’ll lose interest. What would be the best course of action? Obviously she’s busy and needs to focus on her priorities, but how often should I be texting her? I don’t want to be too relationship’y after one date hahaha.
Any advice helps!
I’m in med school and oftentimes I forget to text my own mom. Not something I’m proud of, but if she’s in a difficult program she’s probably strapped for time all the time. Her giving you a second date, or really any amount of her precious free time, is a great sign.
Sending a little text every day or so, or sending a funny YouTube video that you think she’d like is perfectly acceptable.
Also, if you have some work to do, you could offer to pick up dinner and meet her at her study spot for a study date. 🙂
A “Thinking if you. Hope you’re having a good day :)” every second or third day is enough to keep her on your mind and open up a conversation if she wants one. Just see how she responds. Some people just aren’t texters though.
>She doesn’t text very often, and I’m just worried she’ll lose interest.
So she doesnt text a lot…but you think she’ll lose interest without texting? You aren’t a jester meant to dance for women so they « stay interested. » If they are interested they will be proactive. If she is in a tough program as you’ve noted, she probably is studying a lot and prefers not to text? Who knows. But your conclusion that you somehow need to « keep her interested » seems generic, and what I was trying to do in highschool/college.
Good texting is natural, balanced and proactive. If its one sided, its not balanced.
>Obviously she’s busy and needs to focus on her priorities, but how often should I be texting her?
Nobody can answer this question. We dont know anything about her. You’re 27, you should know there’s no real formula for this shit. If we said « text her every 35 minutes on the hour but no less than 2 sentences per text » it would just be bullshit.
If she doesnt text but she continues to meet up, thats good. If she stops meeting up, thats not good. As long as she goes on dates, you’re ok. Eventually, ask her about her texting habits. Ask the person you want to understand, don’t rely on the reddit bubble.
Match the pace with her. If she’s not texting much, dont push it. Send along some funny memes or something and dont expect her to respond. If its funny or interesting, she probably will. Just dont be the guy who is asking questions and trying to get her to open up. Only do that if thats how the conversation is going. Just…relax.
No need to do anything. This is just the illusion of action that all men find themselves in. She said to wait after exams so you have to respect that. There’s no need to keep texting just to remind her of your existence – if she’s interested, she’ll text back.