Dating : I only seem to meet girls who put in zero effort
Throughout these past few years of trying to date and being in a few relationships, I only seem to meet women who put in no effort at all. They rely on me to arrange every date, meetup, and hang out. I have to initiate every interaction. I have to carry every conversation. What do they do? Nothing. They blow me off, they don’t text me, they don’t respond to me, they’re constantly busy with other people who are more important than me, they can’t even ask how my day is or how I’m doing, they act vague and cryptic of I dare ask if something is wrong, and then they just end up ghosting me before anything real starts to happen. With every relationship I’ve been in, it’s always been clear that they never gave a single solitary fuck about me and I had to do all the work while they just sat there and looked pretty. I’m sick of this happening every damn time.
So why are you getting into relationships with people who act like that?
Basically that means they’re not interested. I know, obvious, but seriously, that’s what it means, and more specifically it means they aren’t interested at that exact moment in time. When someone is agreeing to go on dates and spend time with you, but not fully engaging in conversation and such with you, it means they’re not *currently* interested but are spending time with you either because they think they might potentially be interested if something develops (most likely the case), or there’s some other reason like they’re bored or are trying to convince themselves they’re ready to date but aren’t (also not super uncommon).
Relationships are about the bond you build with someone, and it sounds like it’s that bonding that isn’t happening for you. Bonding tends to happen through shared experiences, or things one or both people are passionate about. For example, the last guy I was really serious about, he and I spent a lot of time together and experienced stuff together, were vulnerable with each other, shared passions (note: passion doesn’t mean sex), etc. It was that bonding experience that made me desire to be around him so much.
Maybe it helps to try to adopt the mindset of a fisherman. You are just out there throwing our your line to see what bites. If it doesn’t bite it probably wasn’t the fish you wanted anyway.
Dating is stiff competition and every girl has at least 10 other guys hitting on her at any time.
If you don’t outshine those guys then you’ll get low effort.
​
What works for me is to go .. I don’t give a fuck, just do your worst and see if you can surprise her. Chances are it will fizzle out and that is fine, but sometimes you catch her off guard and bow chicka bow wow
She’s just not that into you.
I think you might need to do some self reflection. If no girl you have gone out with has liked you enough to put in effort you may be doing something to drive them away, or you may be going for a certain type of girl who is prone to act this way.