Dating : I set my best friend on a blind date and it went horrible… it wasn’t his fault , but rather hers
I recently set up my best friend up on a date with my co worker. She already went into the date closed minded and kind of pushed her way through. About 90 mins through the date she texted me and said “sorry this isn’t gonna work” . I later called her and got all the details.
Long story short, he bought her a round of drinks. She was hungry and got an appetizer (that she paid for). In her opinion it was “disgusting” that he let her pay for any portion of the date. She went on and on and on how if he can’t even pay for the date how would he ever support her if she got married.
Through this experience I realized how disgustingly materialistic she is and how much it’s ruining our friendship.
EDIT: okay to add some more context Because I think it’s needed. My best friend is the woman. Co worker is the man. I didn’t think co worker expected this to be a full blown dinner. It wasn’t a situation where the bill came at the end of the night and he asked her to put her credit card down. They were just going back and forth. He got a drink before she even came. She came after work, was hungry and he wasn’t and she ordered an app. He then got a second round of drinks.
She made it sound like everything was a test. She said even if it was the second date she would offer to pay but wouldn’t expect for the man to even let her.
She made emasculating comments to him during the date saying things like “you’re not aggressive enough”.
For those asking why I set up the date?! Because she’s been single forever and I just wanted her to be happy. But to be honest after this experience I feel like nothing can make her happy as she’s never experienced any sort of emotional connection with a man. For her it’s just money. It’s where can he take me on vacation, what new handbag can he get me, and can he support me when we get marrieds
lol some people just wanna be single forever, yet can’t stand being single. you can’t help your friends that don’t want to be helped. she wasn’t going to like him no matter what.
Big oof.
Lesson learned: don’t set your friend up with anyone else.
A lot of people seem to be assuming the friend is the man, but it sounds like the friend is the woman.
Let her get her own dates from here on out and apologize to the coworker.
I think the word « disgusting » to describe someone not paying for your date is awful. Your friend sounds awfully materialistic and selfish.
I wonder why she is single. She sounds like she probably is not a good friend, and I hope you evaluate how her behavior affects you. having a best friend like that sounds exhausting, she sounds like an energy vampire.
“Support her if they got married”….wow. It’s a blind date. I feel bad for whoever ends up with her.
What a truly ugly person inside and out
Sounds like she should remain single, not only so some poor schmuck doesn’t get trapped with her, but for the prosperity of humanity, God forbid she thinks she wants to raise a child.
Well, her problem was thinking too far ahead and making a false equivalency. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a husband who can support the family. It’s just not realistic for her to expect she could tell that by a first date alone.
This is actually your fault…poor co-worker of yours
As far as dates and paying, I always offer to split the tab and then if he offers to pay it all, I will let him. At least the first date. Hopefully she didn’t do or say anything that may embarrass you with your co-worker, but as she is/was your friend, she was likely just being honest about her own thoughts about dating. YOU chose to set them up, so I wouldn’t hold it against her if you were real friends.
I think your friend spends a bit too much time on the FDS subreddit.
I remember my Mom laughing about a dude, “He’d buy you a nickel Coke and spend the evening trying to squeeze it out of you!” First date is always Dutch. It’s discussed before the date. I don’t like feeling like I owe him anything.
Had a friend set up one of our coworkers once. After hearing about her behavior on the date (which was VERY different than her daily behavior to an astonishing degree), it was clear why she was still single.
This is the reason why she still single. Anyway, never be a matchmaker, if it doesn’t turn out good, both will blame you.
So why is this entitled sociopath your best friend?
I’m not sorry to tell you that your best friend is disgusting and will be single forever with such a nasty attitude.
Sounds like she doesn’t want a boyfriend, she wants a sugar daddy.
The good news is you saw her for who she really is! I really suggest you tell your co-worker that you were disgusted by her behavior and it ruined your friendship, otherwise he’ll think you’re on her side.
Welcome to 2021 QWEENS
I think buying a woman drinks but no food = trying to get the woman drunk. She never wanted to go on this date to begin with according to you. Why did you set her up?
There’s nothing wrong with expecting a man to pay for the date, if you’re the type of woman who’s worth it.
But the behavior you describe suggests she’s not…maybe.
However, your friend should have thought things through a little better. Eating a meal is the most common activity for a first date. Did he even so much as ask if she was hungry?
What time was the date? Was it his intention to go on a strictly drinking only date? Did she know this?
If you’re going on a date, you either go hungry, expecting to eat, or you go full, because you already ate.
Obviously neither one knew what the other was expecting.
Did they speak before the date, or did you handle all the communication and they just met?
Materialistic women make me sick
Went on a date recently with a girl that insisted on me paying for everything. I didn’t want to fight about it so I went ahead and did just that and then immediately blocked her in my phone once the date was over.
Huge red flags for me.
>In her opinion it was “disgusting” that he let her pay for any portion of the date. She went on and on and on how if he can’t even pay for the date how would he ever support her if she got married.
She wants a traditional al relationship which is fine. But then she has to be traditional herself. Is she a virgin?
Yikes! If she’s not happy alone, she’ll never be happy with a man. Also how old is she?? This seems to be the thing with people in their 20s nowadays, such high expectations for the first date & im saying this because I myself used to be like this, and unfortunately many of my friends are still like this.
I hope things are not awkward between you and your coworker!
Really good of you to try though OP.
a lot of people could do with a friend/coworker like you
You definitely are not built like me, as I am a Man, and you are a boy. You’ve made that abundantly clear.
Well I got to say I do like it when the guy pays for the first date. I don’t expect it won’t throw a fit but I do like it