Dating : I think my boyfriend might be cheating on me. But, i don’t want to sound like i’m jumping to conclusions.
Hey, so…i don’t want to sound like a crazy person or anything, or be one of those girls who accuses her boyfriend of cheating at the drop of a hat, but i do think he is. With my mom.
Here’s what happened. A few weeks ago, i was visiting her for her birthday. I had him drive me since my car was in the shop. I introduced him and they talked for a bit, just introductory stuff. She asked about his grades, his job, family, you know. The car ride back home, he seemed so preoccupied. He barely spoke a word to me, he asked a few questions about mom. He seemed particularly interested in asking where my dad was and the divorce. But, other then that, nothing.
Now, my mom is recently divorced and single. She is pretty, but i really hope she wouldn’t be doing this. And my bf, he’s kind of a horn dog. He’s always groping me and trying to get me in bed, like, every hour of the day. . Over time, since then, he’s had less interest in our intimate time together. He’s spent a lot of time on his phone. He won’t let me see what he’s doing or anything.
There was a couple times, we’d be driving and he’d mention « Hey, since we’re in town, wanna drop by your mom’s? ». For no reason.
This morning, he finally got his hair cut. (He’s had, kind of, long hair. But, after a few weeks of pushing him, i got him to cut it into a more respectable style. For his upcoming job interview). We were in the area and decided to visit her again. She seemed happy to see us. We talked for a long time, at least over an hour. One thing she said was about his haircut, she just pointed it out and it looks different, i explained it to her and she said « Oh, well you look very handsome that way ».
When we left, i had to beg him to leave. I kept trying to remind him about somewhere we had to be that afternoon. But he got annoyed « I’m in the middle of a conversation. Stop being pushy. ». And we walked out the door, mom told him « Oh, she’s always been pushy, » then nshe told an embarrassing story from when i was a kid.
Now, the last crucial piece of evidence that set this whole thing in motion. I had already went and got in his car. But i noticed he didn’t follow me. I looked back and he’s hugging her. That’s not all, his hands were kind of low. Like, on her lower back. It got me to thinking and it made feel start to worry that he’s cheating on me with her.
But i just don’t have that high of a libido. I hope he’s not doing this too me.
But, i don’t want to sound like a crazy person and accuse him right off the bat. I mean, they seem awfully chummy. Am i justified for thinking this? Or am i just being overprotective?
Tl;dr – Boyfriend has been showing less interest in our intimacy ever since we visited my mom. Am i wrong to think he’s cheating on me with her?
Its difficult to give you a yes or no answer, miss. I think its better to keep an eye on him. If he’s willing to cheat on you with YOUR MUM… I think that speaks for itself.
Absolutely none of that sounds like he is cheating. At worst he might think your mom is hot.
It sounds like you have some insecurities you need to address and him being a « horn dog » isn’t helping.
Ummmm….. my advice is to try and find what else could be attaching him to your mom. For example, how is his relationship with his own mother, or with his parents in general? If the guy grew up without a mom or has issues with his own mother, maybe he is seeking that emotional bond he’s been missing. This could also explain the decrease in sex drive in that maybe he was only a « horn dog » because there was an emotional deficiency that sex with you helped him forget. What I mean is maybe he isn’t as horny as he seemed and what you’re seeing now is his normal level of horniness.
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Of course, this is just me hypothesizing. If you can’t find a legitimate reason for his attachment to your mother, then just call him out on it. Obviously, don’t immediately accuse him of sleeping with her. Just wait for him to suggest visiting her or some thing like that and hit him with the « Why do you want to visit my mom? That’s weird »…
I think you need to follow him some more, gather more proofs. But you’re definitely onto something, maybe it didn’t happen yet but will somewhere down the line. One way to confirm your doubts is, instead of trying to see what’s on his phone, try to find an excuse to use your mom’s phone. Something’s fishy about all this. I can feel it.
There doesn’t sound like there’s anything to suggest your mum is doing anything dodgy. And she is your mum after all, she must have to be insane to hook up with her daughters boyfriend. I have heard stories of that happening on reddit but there were many other factors in play.
Otherwise, your bf clearly has the hots for your mum. And he’s not even being good about it. I’d have a chat with him. Him being secretive on his phone could mean another girl though. How would he have your mums number?
If you aren’t getting it, somebody else is.