Dating : Idk how to feel about the relationship that is beginning. Talk me in/out of it or give me some advice yo
I recently got tinder for shits and giggles, Out of spite, And out of curiousity. At first I felt uncomfortable about it. I didn’t like the idea of having all these dudes match with me and try to talk to me. It felt unnatural, and it didn’t feel like something I would do. I only lasted a day. I decided I would erase it but one guy truly caught my attention. We started talking and we really hit it off. (Or at least I think we did) He’s about 4 years older than me. I had never thought about dating anyone older than me honestly. It didn’t really faze me. But we have been talking for a couple of weeks. We have a date pending soon in about a week. And the whole thing feels weird. The conversations are mostly platonic but occasionally cross the line. We are both aware we’d like for it to be more than platonic. BUT IT JUST FEELS WEIRD TO ME. It’s like these two people have intentions of potentially dating but they don’t know each other. But they’ve been talking, they CAN know each other, and they flirt? There was no foundation of like friendship. Am I moving to fast? Is this normal? Also why am I so lustful about this dude when I haven’t even met him yet. I identify as Asexual, why is he provoking hella sexual desire within me. He doesn’t even send sexual messages in any way. I feel I’m just already sexually attracted to him which is weird for me. Is this my soulmate???
This is all really new to me. And I just feel weird about it. I just need some advice maybe or maybe help me understand why I feel this way about the situation. If it’s okay for me to be this confused?
> If it’s okay for me to be this confused?
Perfectly fine, enjoy your feelings, it’s what makes you who you are.
> There was no foundation of like friendship
When does friendship start? You’ve chatting for how long? couple of weeks. Close enough, I take it you’ve gotten to know each other well enough.
> BUT IT JUST FEELS WEIRD TO ME
Everything feels weird when we’re not used to doing it.
> Also why am I so lustful about this dude when I haven’t even met him yet
Likely because you’re projecting fantasies. What are the kind of thoughts you have? What do you focus on?
> The conversations are mostly platonic but occasionally cross the line
It’s this building sense of anticipation that is probably folding into it. You get a slight tease, a small taste of fun flirting but then simmer back down to the platonic. Like revving an engine, it is building something inside of you that it seems you haven’t felt before / for a while.
> I just need some advice maybe or maybe help me understand why I feel this way about the situation
Get out of your head, worrying and questioning things and just go with the flow. Listen to your body and enjoy all the myriad of feelings. Trust your gut, have some fun! That’s what life should be all about, enjoying every moment.