Dating : If a woman is told she’s attractive and never gets noticed/approached by guys, what’s the issue?
I’m 25 and never been in a relationship. I’ve lost a lot of weight and attempt to be physically fit and look my best. Every woman I’ve known, regardless of looks, gets approached by guys and dates. I never do, I only have been noticed by guys I don’t find physically attractive. If these girls can get a cute guy, I refuse to settle for someone I don’t find attractive. I just get angry and bitter and wish I could find someone good looking like all these other women. I know I’m not beautiful per se but know that I can do better than what comes my way. I am quiet to those that don’t know me well, but I don’t see why my shyness would keep me single my whole life. I use dating apps and haven’t had success (I need to keep my options open).
Tsk tsk, misleading, like you said, you do get noticed and approached by guys… just not the ones you’d like to be approached by. Not saying you should settle for less then your perceived worth, but still, you do get noticed.
Possible issues: you might seem intense, you might seem « taken », you might be pushing people away, and physical stuff you might not be aware off that puts guys off.
Introspection might be needed for you to find the corporate, since you definitely know yourself better then a random guy on the internet and because generalizing rarely works out
Date on your level, girl friend
who told you you’re attractive?
People usually go for their looks match, so it sounds like you have an inflated sense of your own attractiveness, or your standards are impossibly high.
You’re going to have an extremely unsatisfying dating life if you’re convinced you deserve 8’s and you’re only a 4. You’re probably not as pretty as you think you are.
Welp, based on your post history you a) are massively insecure and anxious, b) are completely preoccupied and obsessed with dating, and c) might come off as a tad desperate to the people you *are* interested in.
All of these things are major turnoffs. Advice: work your therapy, take your meds, R-E-L-A-X, and stop chasing a relationship. Focus on your job, being the best you can be at it, then go get some hobbies that’ll make you some friends. Relationships come when we’re ready for them, and if they come at any other time they end up being disasters anyway.
Hey this thread again
As a guy, I feel like once we get rejected enough times by a certain type (because we too want the best), I just don’t bother anymore. I give compliments, but nothing beyond that.
need proof for your claim that you are attractive.
You may not look approachable. If you always have your head down, earphones on, look closed off, look tense, they may not approach you. If you see a guy that looks attractive to you, try smiling at him and making eye contact, maybe say something to acknowledge him: « good morning », « hi », whatever. You don’t have to ask him out on a date, but just find a way to let him know you saw him.
You’re told attractive , you never get noticed and you’re quiet to those that don’t know you? Well , problem here can be either you’re not socially attractive or your friends , family , etc. lies to you. How do I know? I’m suffering from the same problem. A lot of people tells me I’m attractive , handsome and why I don’t a gf lol .
> I only have been noticed by guys I don’t find physically attractive.
So you are noticed, just not by the men you want to be noticed by.
> I just get angry and bitter and wish I could find someone good looking like all these other women.
Maybe try doing some work yourself instead of relying on men to do everything for you. Also men can hear the « where you looking at her ass? do you think shes prettier than me? Do you think my ass looks fat in this? » from two towns over.
Hey just speaking as a guy alot of poeple I know rely heavily on dating apps and other things like that i know i personally never just go out and hit on random women just cause everyone ive ever seen has said they dont like when guys do that granted i date cery introverted poeple honeslty your best bet is just take charge you think the guys cute and hes not coming up to you to talk to you just initiate yourself and go talk to him
Attitude/personality. Locations she goes to. Thinks shes hotter than she is(lets be honest every person does this at some point)aka 6 going for a 10. Does get noticed/approached but is far too shallow to give people she (usually wrongfully) thinks are below her on the looks scale.
sounds like you may be the first one and latter two. You may be thin now but what about the rest of your appearance? Nice and well kept face? Hair? Skin? boobs/booty? Are you sure you are getting approached by guys below your league and not exactly in the same one ?
also yeah you gotta not be so quiet, squeaky wheel gets the grease
It could be your personality and the fact that you don’t seem approachable. Looks aren’t always everything, guys get intimidated in person are you at least getting matches online? I think that would be a tell on attractiveness especially tinder, but it could be a clue to where you’d want to stand in a superficial standpoint. It seems you’re too focused on looks, just widen up your dating pool and maybe try to be more confident despite of what friends and family tell you, guys you find attractive probably just don’t feel the same way.
Being attractive doesn’t always mean you’ll get approached in person but in the online world it’s another story there’s a wider pool but remember no matter how attractive you think you are someone else is also competing for the same guys.
[https://imgur.com/a/IjoBdoI](https://imgur.com/a/IjoBdoI)
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This says it all. You post the same question worded differently, several times a week hoping someone will give you the answer/validation you want.
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You want to know if you’re attractive? If you’re comfortable with it, PM me a picture of you, and I’ll rate you 1-10. (I’m a young 20s M for reference).
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The simple answer is that you’re most likely not as attractive as you think, but also your attitude is a major issue also. You need to readjust your mindset and understand that you’re not entitled to a relationship with anybody.
You’re shyness is not doing you any favours.
Also, I’m pretty sure I remember you saying that you would never approach someone because *“it’s the man’s job to ask out.”*
All I can say is good luck with that dating approach in 2019, because it will not get you anywhere (as you’re currently finding out the hard way).
theirs no issue, your just picky, taking you at your word, less attractive than your friends… bad as it sounds, its generally as easy as it sounds as well.
You keep asking the same question and keep wondering if people who tell you that you are attractive are lying to you. Maybe consider uploading some pictures and a post to r/rateme . Maybe you won’t get the answer you were hoping for but it will normally be an honest answer. Women tend to get more ratings than men do aswell.
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You can keep posting the question about what the problem is but if you don’t answer the core question, being your ATTRACTIVENESS, you will never get the answer that you are looking for.
Peach leggings, and a crop top.
Intimidated by your attractiveness?