Dating : If you can’t tell if she’s interested, read this.

Dating : If you can’t tell if she’s interested, read this.



They can be extremely frustrating to deal with when it comes to figuring out if they’re into you or not.


It’s a terrible feeling to read signals wrong and make a move, only to find out she didn’t intent to come off as interested, or that she was just being nice to you. It can really hinder your ability and confidence to feel comfortable with approaching the next woman. And in some cases, it can leave a really bad taste in guy’s mouths about women in general.


These things suck, and I’ve seen a healthy amount of posts asking for ways to read into women’s interest. Does she like you if she’s playing with her hair? If she’s having a conversation with you? If she likes your shirt? Where the fuck do you draw the line from friendly to interested?


Fortunately, there are subtle things women do that indicate strongly that she’s interested in you, and that you’re golden for an approach.




Generally, (because there are always expectations to the rule) women won’t come right out and tell you that they like you. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also reality in our current social climate. Women are taught to let the men pursue, let the men approach you first. Let the men ask to take you out. They’re taught that to openly pursue a man makes you look like a slut, a whore, an easy girl. And women try to avoid these types of labels.


Because women are usually raised or conditioned in this manner, they don’t like taking the lead in regard to approaching. Luckily, they still like us, and they still want to help us understand when they like us. When a woman is interested in you, she’s much more likely to give hints and throw subtleties your way, hoping that you’ll pick up on what’s going on and make a move.


A lot of guys will hear this and simply choose to not waste their time, which is understandable. Why put effort into a girl that can’t express how she feels?


The thing about that mindset though, is that women that come right out and say “John, I really like you, and I’d like it if you took me out sometime,” are fucking rare. Very fucking rare. And if you decide to sit around and wait for that type of woman, you’ll be waiting for a *very* long time.


When you don’t have the luxury of bold women approaching you, you’ve got to read the signs. And I’d like to share some valuable knowledge that **really** helped me out with knowing when a woman was genuinely interested in me, or was just being friendly or nice.




**If a woman is interested/comfortable with you, she’ll put herself in your orbit.**


Now, what does this mean?


When a woman likes you, she’ll go out of her way to be around you. She’ll look for opportunities to touch you, speak to you, or just look at you if you’re at a distance. This translates to the texting/calling game too. Have you ever had a girl you’ve known for a while just text you out the blue with « Hey », « Hi » or « What’s up? ». Secret gentlemen, she’s putting herself in your orbit. She’s more than likely hoping you’ll take her *invitation* and turn it into a date. The simplest way to go about doing so is this. If a woman you’re getting to know or dating texts/calls you, but isn’t talking about anything in particular, schedule a date. She’s thinking about you, and wants to see you. She probably won’t come right out and say so, (I know, frustrating) but you’ve got to read between the lines.




**General Contact (Verbal/Texting)**


Going back to putting herself in your orbit, what does this mean? Let’s say you’ve got someone who you work with. She seems to always greet you when you or she arrives. More interestingly, she always seems to find you, wherever you are, and say farewell when she or you leave. If a woman is constantly greeting you and wishing you well when one or both of you leave work, she’s more than likely interested. Especially if she doesn’t give everyone at the workplace the same kindness. She’s putting herself in your orbit to make it easier for you to make a move.


Women also carry out this same behavior over texts. If you receive a random text from a woman you’re dating, something along the lines of:


– I just saw this random thing and it reminded me of you!
– I just thought about that time we went to x!
– Hey, what are you doing?
– Are you doing anything today?
– I just thought about you.
– How are you?


She’s thinking about you. You crossed her mind, and instead of coming right out and saying, “I want to see you, ask me out,” or just asking *you* out on a date (again, frustrating, I know), she’ll put herself in your orbit, she’ll make her presence known, and hope that you understand her actions enough to realize she wants you, in some way, and should schedule a time to get together.




**Physical Contact**


Another way women put themselves in your orbit is through physical touch. Men, if a woman is constantly bumping/brushing up against you, she’s interested. I don’t care **what** anybody says. People are more than aware of their personal space. They will not consistently bump/brush up against someone that they do not find appealing, physically or in general.


Likewise, if she’s always touching parts of your body, again, she’s interested. She’s initiating the touch barrier and letting you know she’s cool with physical touch. Obviously, don’t lose your mind with this statement, that doesn’t mean you’re good to start squeezing her ass, but if a woman is touching you, it’s her way to saying, « I’m okay with you being physical with me ».

Again, it’s more frustrating than her just saying « I’m totally down if you touched me dude », but again, woman aren’t generally that forward.




**Eye Contact**


Finally, eye contact. Fellas, if you’ve caught a girl staring at you for the fifteenth time, she’s interested in you. I know you may think she’s starting at something behind you, or looking at somebody that happens to be close by you, but let’s be honest here. If you’re consistently finding her gaze at you, even when you **move** locations, she’s staring at something she likes, which is you.


Now, I understand eye contact can be iffy at times. So, if you’re still on the fence on whether a girl is looking at you because she’s interested, or because she’s just so disgusted with you, the next time you catch you looking, maintain eye contact for a second, and **grin**. You don’t have to full on smile if you don’t want to.


If she smiles back at you, even if she averts eye contact while doing it (it’s okay, she’s nervous), she’s interested, and she wants you to approach her. If she doesn’t smile back, and looks away, sorry champ, she isn’t into it.




These aren’t *all* the signs women show to express their interest in you, but they’re the basic things to look out for in you’re wanting to know if you’ve got a shot or not. Perhaps one day we’ll live in world where everyone can just be blunt and honest, without fear of rejection. But until that day, I hope this information can help you.

Read also  Dating : Girl I have been seeing the past couple months just now asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend

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  1. I’m (30 male) currently seeing (not dating) my co-worker (20 female) based on this and it’s in secrecy 😉

    I used to come to her area always and chat it up (with no intentions of hitting on the girl just based on the fact we had good convo)…. then one day she teased me about a story I told her

    . I told her i would check in with her if i made it in one piece… she offered her number to me…..
    then we spoke on the phone for about 10 minutes and she said « if u ever wanna go to the gym (another thing I mentioned) let me know- I have a membership »

    we did the gym date (unaware of it being a date) and afterwards we got really close. she told me her life and spoke about this injury… so she let me feel on her hips/butt….. bruh, I melted… I popped a excited boner and I got all weird and shit but she didn’t even draw attention to it lol

    after that day she would manage to come to my work desk to chat it up (usually it was about work related stuff) but you can tell the energy was different…..

    after about her 9th excuse to come see me I garnered the balls to ask her out….. she said yes
    I took her to my favorite restaurant… and time flies when I’m with her. we just talk (mostly her) we make each other laugh (I’m the funny one – so I empower her funny side) and I love to make her smile (I’m also the sweet word guy)…

    now that we have a connection and like to hug and kiss and stuff (when no one’s around) she always is in orbit….definitely in orbit

  2. Ok, so now I need a tip about how to tell if guys are interested. I’m always the one initiating asking out the dude. Most of the time it ends badly, even if we hit it off in the beginning. Anyone got any advice?

  3. As a woman who has never had a shred of success being direct, I can tell you you totally nailed this. You just described how I act if I’m interested. There are times I won’t even go that far unless I get some sense that the guy would welcome more interaction.

    If he gives cues like a smile w very good eye contact and wanting to linger in conversation, remembering and using my name, or complimenting me, I reciprocate as a way to encourage him.

    Sometimes I watch his behavior for a while, looking for clues as to what type of person he is before I get all up in his orbit. I also try to get a sense if he’s taken before I send signals.

    If he’s significantly younger than me, I don’t send signals even if I’m interested. At least not until he sends signals.

    My ex husband couldn’t tell I was interested even though he was making my knees buckle and giving me butterflies. At the end of the blind date, I allowed our elbows to touch and remain that way for several long seconds and that was his only clue.

    If you think she might be interested but aren’t sure, take it in steps of increasing attention and intensity. She’ll keep encouraging you if she’s interested. If you are in a situation where you may never see her again and it’s now or never, introduce yourself and ask if you can give her your number. If she takes it, and is interested, you’ll hear from her within 24 hours. 🙂

  4. She did all of that (prolonged eye contact, smiling, trying to talk to me whenever, light flirting, etc), although limited physical touching she got close lots of times, and then said she has a boyfriend after I asked her out. I made it pretty obvious to her what I felt too, without saying it.

  5. I never show signs that I like a guy (apart from the friendly ‘how is work going?’ And other things). But that is because if I am direct, I am worried guys will just push me away. It’s hard to explain but I think it’s quite unusual for a woman to make the first step and it makes it even harder for us to do it when we want to.

  6. Op: makes a post with decent information to look out for.

    Most women: This is so me!

    Most guys: oh damn that’s means like no women have been interested in me.

  7. Man that’s way too long noone reads that. I’ve written a simpler version so see if she’s interested.

    1. Ask her on a date or something
    2. She says yes -> Shes interested
    3. She says no, but offers to reschedule -> still interested
    4. She explains why she has no time, but won’t reschedule it -> 0% interest rate

  8. > They’re taught that to openly pursue a man makes you look like a slut, a whore, an easy girl. And women try to avoid these types of labels.

    what???? lol

  9. I’ve done some of this stuff with guys I am Not interested in dating , but just enjoy talking to them sometimes. So these Definitely do not always mean they are interested in dating you

  10. This post is frankly awful. Talking about women like you’re observing wildlife and they’re a big hivemind like a colony of ants. It’s ridiculous. Some of these things are signs of interest for certain people but they’re also just normal things people do with their friends (I literally do the « putting yourself in their orbit » thing to my brother and platonic friends).

    You should give your attention to people who favour direct communication and give you clear signs of interest instead of dropping tiny hints waiting for you to make the first move. This isn’t how most interested women behave, this is how people who can’t function socially behave when they’re interested. At worst, you’re imagining innocent platonic gestures to mean more. She’s not interested if she smiles back, dude. I work at a coffee shop. I literally make awkward eye contact and smile with everyone I run into, it’s a habit.

  11. on short, if someone likes you, you will know. If not, you will be confused.
    EDIT: I find myself in 3 out of 4 (excluded physical contact since we weren’t that close to each other yet) but the rest of those points, I do find when it comes to « My Crush ». But the mixed signals become very clear online on social media. I look on both, in person and online conversation and how it feels talking to the same person. In person is great but online, totally different story, really kind of a fked up situation, without having an opportunity to text her. But I upvoted because I can relate and it’s true what you have written.

  12. I don’t know what women are like this!?
    You seem to think you are an expert and quite arrogant.
    Honestly it is 2019…not 1950.
    I have a large circle of women friends and your cookie cutter judgements do NOT apply.
    Every human is different and we are not wild game to be bagged.
    Are you 15?

  13. As a female, thanks for sharing! I often wonder (and hope) if a guy is picking up my thoughts. But then I hear guys all the time share an ope! story about all the time they figured out a gurl was hitting on them. Years later.

  14. A girl that I fell for in office had this eye contact thing. But I am a contractor here handling an account worth some serious money so couldn’t fool around. We used to look at each other pretty much all day (it had become almost an involuntary thing for me to look at her for a split second when I took my eye off my screen.. creepy.. I know). And we exchanged smiles as well. But I never knew whether it was because she was interested or disgusted (but being nice to me).

    Later when I went to talk to her she was cold. So I decided to move my seat away (we don’t have assigned seats). I liked her so much but never wanted to make her uncomfortable.

    Guys, don’t go crazy just by the eye contact and smile.

  15. It’s kind of a bummer that I’ve never met a girl who popped up to me then, I always figured that if they liked you they would message you first, maybe not all the time but at least on occasion.


  16. From a woman’s perspective, this is spot on. And very good to know that makes don’t pick up on these hints!

    Do you have any tips for woman? 😛

  17. This is not true for many cases

    The texting part, yes, definitely interested if random texting in addition to other signs mentioned

    But you also have to keep in mind:

    1) how friendly is this person

    2) They just like to flirt for attention

    I’ve had a few women show every sign mentioned other than texting me, but when it came down to it, she said she’s just very friendly and sorry if it seemed like she was interested in me OR was told by another ones friend that she’s just a flirty girl

  18. I didn’t even read this all because it’s just plain silly.

    First of all, you could make the exact reverse post about women trying to understand men, because guys are not always easy to understand either.

    Secondly, I’m a woman, and I have told plenty of guys up front that I like them or I’m interested in them.

    Interestingly enough, I’ve told this to a few guys to hear them reciprocate similarly, only to have them ghost me or friend zone me afterwards. This shit isn’t gender specific.

    Trying to make manuals or guides to understanding women is ludicrous because **we aren’t all the same**. I actually find them rather dehumanizing. Treat women as individuals, with unique habits, wants, likes, needs, etc.

  19. Cookie cutter post makes for stale rock hard cookies.

    The very fact that you acknowledge societal norms around genders is a good thing, but then instead of suggesting how we can change it, you basically provide steps on how to enforce its existence.

    The labels, expectations, and societal stereotypes us humans apply to each other are toxic and need to stop if we’re to evolve into a society capable of real emotion & communication.

  20. Eh when I’m super into a guy I get so nervous around him that I usually avoid him. I know it’s stupid but lots of us do that.

    And what’s with this outdated notion of men “taking her out on a date”? It’s 2019, we “hang out” now and take turns paying

  21. If a girl randomly texts you hi, hey, what’s up, she’s most likely just bored. Or she’s trying to stay in touch with a friend. If we’re interested, we try to find a topic to text about. We combine it with finding out things about you or telling you smth about us. A lot of girls will text you, telling you about a guy being a creep or weirdo to them. They’re telling you what they don’t like and they’re trying to see if you’re interested by the way you reply to it. Unless you asked her about it, then she’s just being polite by giving you an answer.

    Edit: you getting protective and telling her to stay away from those guys will make her think you like her. You just laughing about it or making fun of her finding the weirdest people, will make her think that you’re not interested.

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