Dating : If you KNOWINGLY date and pursue terrible people
Then you have absolutely 0 right to complain and moan how bad your dating life is. If someone with a fear of clowns continuously throws fits and cries over clowns at the circus…then why the hell go to the circus?? You make your bed, you lay in it.
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Either:
1. see a therapist
2. buck up and change yourself
3. OR shut up and live with the choices you made
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No one is forcing you to knowingly go after bad people, maybe its time to self reflect and see what the core issue is and take initiative instead of being a whiny baby about it. Also for people with bad reading comprehension, this isnt going after people who unknowingly get into bad and/or abusive dating!
But OP, I can CHAAAANGE them!
r/whereareallthegoodmen came to mind. People with who made shitty life choices and then expect people to come and save them from it
I don’t think many people do. Maybe unknowingly. But if a man has a history of LTRs, he is avidly pursuing you, and has his life in order… and this happens with DOZENS of guys where he ends up using you, I don’t think its your problem at all.
I think that’s too much of a black and white way of looking at it. No person can predict how the relationship is going to go. But they hope it goes well.
In the building attraction phase, the “terrible” person will not be terrible at that time, and so the other person will see them as they are, and try not to judge them for their past bad behaviour (which is a good trait to have). Sure it might be naive and maybe stupid, but to say they have 0 right to complain when things go bad, is too harsh.
Sounds like you’re a butthurt guy who is a so called nice guy that has been rejected by girls who then go for these “terrible people”.
Yeah I dated this girl earlier this year who initially tried to ghost me. She asked me friend why I didn’t get her number before I left a party and so I found her IG and went from there. The conversation lasted a solid couple months until she purposely stopped responding. I had a feeling she was ghosting but I continued texting and she then hit me with that she’s not looking for anything which hurt. I suggested we can get to know each other and she agreed. Not even a few weeks later and she invites me to a weekend party where we then hook up for the next couple days so I’m insanely confused but go along it. My best friend who has known her for a long time told me that anything beyond hooking up isn’t going to happen with her but I figured I could manage a relationship with her since I’m different and am new to the friend group.
Well we happen to get close and she wants to start seeing each other exclusively which I am ecstatic about and after a nice weekend alone together she calls it off saying she is confused and guilty and that we got together really fast and all this stuff. She proceeds to call me an asshole later on and is now not speaking to me. I told my friend all of this and he started laughing saying that she sucks but he hasn’t seen anyone get past hooking up with her so he was surprised I got that far. I then find out she was pursuing someone else the whole time and hooked up with her ex while we were hooking up which opened my eye to who I was chasing. She only started being interested in me when the other guy turned her down which made me feel like shit.
Basically I ignored a shit ton of red flags and couldn’t believe I let her hurt me not once but twice doing basically the same thing. It sucks even more because if she were reach out to me and take me back I wouldn’t hesitate to jump back into it. Oh and I found out she carries a lot of drama with her wherever she goes but it’s « never her fault. » Fuck me.