Dating : I’m 21 with almost no experience. My lack of success is starting to really affect my mental health.
Hi all. I am 21 (M)and have never dated in my life. Sufficient to say, I am still a virgin. I’ve tried asking people out, dating apps, attending social events, bars etc. to no luck. Either they are already dating, just had a break up, or just straight up not interested. Any sort of connection I did have was short lived or nothing came out of it. The loneliness, FOMO, and the feeling that I will be single forever is ruining my mental health. Especially with so many of my friends either dating or married.
A little background: I have a degree in Mathematics and a well paying corporate job. I’m super nerdy; I love gaming, anime, and of course, Math. Physically I’m not the hottest guy around, but I do take care of myself and am decently fit.
These are some characteristics about myself that I think attribute to my lack of success. I grew up super religious and sheltered. I went to an all boy school, so when I went to a public college I had no social skills and was at a middle school level in terms of dating knowledge and experience.
That said, I’m no longer awkward and can hold a decent conversation. However, I am so worried about my lack of experience. If/when I finally do date, I would have no idea what to do.
If you’re still with me, thanks for reading. In conclusion I’m feeling like I am wasting my prime years. Any advice/thoughts/comments are much appreciated.
What makes dating easier, a lot easier, is when you find people you are attracted to that have your same interests. Be genuine with your approach when you talk to a woman. Whether you meet them in real life or online, the approach is the same. Talk to them for a bit then just ask them out: “Hey, I really would love to keep talking to you and getting to know you. I would love to take you to dinner.”
Eh I’m a 21 m who’s a virgin with no dating experience too. Personally I just accepted my situation
1) focus on building a social circle that has women in that circle
2) socialise at every chance you get. Read Dale Carnegies book “how to make friends and influence people” then read Napoleon Hills book “think and grow rich” (don’t let the title mislead you, it has little to do with money if you so choose).
By building up your social skills, you’ll gain confidence as well.
Don’t worry about being inexperienced. When you find the right person, everything feels easy.
“Only chase the girls that *already* like you” was the best advice I’ve ever received.
Remember as a young man you’re at your lowest value for women. Invest in yourself, build skills and resources and you’ll be attractive in time.