Dating : I’m (M23) in love with a close friend of mine (F24)
I’m (M23) in love with a close friend of mine (F24) who’s also a co-worker, and we all share the same mutual friends (tight-nit friend circle). I know for a fact she likes me a lot as a friend, but don’t know if she’s in love in me. She does show signs when we’re drunk, like touching me a lot, initiating conversations with me constantly, and so forth. When we’re not drunk, she’s just friendly but nothing more than that. She’s fairly shy but nothing too over the top. She’s way more experienced romantically and sexually than me, and she’s a bit out of my league. I don’t know if its my mind wanting her to be in love with me that’s making me think she is, or if she’s actually into me. But I’ve been having a crush on her for a long time now. Should I risk asking her out? Is she flirting or just being nice?
So either I ask her out, she says yes, we’re both happy.
Or I ask her out, she says no, I’m afraid that things will be really awkward at work and the friend circle will see me differently.
Or I don’t ask her out, I don’t risk the amazing friendship we have.
Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
tl;dr
In love with close friend, I’m not sure if she likes me back. Don’t want to ruin friendship by asking her out and getting rejected.
Ask her to an event, concert or something just the two of you, if she accepts gage her body language. Treat her like it’s a date. You can tell them if she is receptive.
whats this league crap? you work at the same place, you have the same friends, get that shit out of your diseased head.
Hey OP, I had a similar situation that went really well, so hopefully this can be useful to you.
She was a super good friend of a few years, and I woke up one day completely insane for her. We had been drunk flirting a lot, and this escalated. I was solid we were a go, but had to wait like a month to see her again. I went to see her and brought supplies to build a slip n slide and everything.
Well, in the interim she had met someone she liked, and it was a shock when, rather than kissing me when we hugged, she spun away to tell me about him.
She knew I was into her, of course, and wanted to spare me the embarrassment. I was gutted, but we were really good friends. So we made a slip n slide anyway and got drunk, like good friends do.
This is about as well as a failed mission here can go. So probably the first thing you need to ask yourself is, are you guys cool enough that she can say no and you can say okay and not be too weird? Are *you* okay with being friends with her if she has to shoot you down?
After all that, and knowing there are good arguments against this, I vote: **ask her out**. Your heart’s in the right place. Make it clear you value her being in your life, period, and this is the *only* time you’ll try this. Then don’t be a douche and keep trying to get in her pants while you guys are hanging out. As long as you handle it like a man, I don’t see her abandoning you. Good luck!
These stuff usually end very badly, lets say that there is a 10% chance of success and 90% chance of ruining the friendship, will you still go for it?