Dating : I’m scared that he’s using me, does it sound like he just wants sex?
22F, met a guy on tinder. We have a lot in common (specifically, both stand up comics/into same music/interests). First date was us talking for 4 hours by a river really deep convo. Second date was 11 hours, stand up show in the city. He’s really generous and considerate. But also very sexually forward, like clear from the second date he was very touchy/kissy (which is fine, that’s super valid and he wasn’t pushy). Anyway lots of sexual tension, so we had a date planned for tomorrow where he was gonna cook for me, and he said his plans today got cancelled so we got food and then went to his place and ended up having sex (he also bought my favorite beer, I don’t remember even telling him that was my favorite beer).
I didn’t stay over — we both didn’t seem into the idea because he works early and stuff. Now all of a sudden he says he is busy tomorrow even tho we originally had plans for him to make us dinner?
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I am so terrified of being used/hurt. Does it sound like he likes me or is using me?
Too early to tell. Maybe he actually is busy so I wouldn’t stress it unless he bails a second time in a row.
IF he was into you only for sex, I will never understand how a guy can work so hard for one girl for sex and drop her. If that were me, I’ll stick around for more and especially for the girl since I stayed in the first place
when guys are really sexual off the bat it doesn’t turn out well, in my experience. unfortunately wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to slow fade or ghost now
I agree that it’s too early to tell, but definitely stay wary. He might honestly be busy, but also what was his excuse? Try rescheduling and if he seems flaky or not willing to ACTUALLY make plans, then he probably was only in it for the sex. I’ve been there, and it’s scary that you really never know what a guy might do after you sleep together but know that it says nothing about you and everything about him.
Did you go bare? Sounds like a standard issue pump and dump.
That’s a lot of effort just for sex. If he just wants sex he wouldn’t have done all of those things. Give him a break and focus on other things. It’s really soon to tell and you shouldn’t be so invested so soon. Give it a few days and then check on him and see if he wants to hang out. If you’re scared he might just want sex then hold up on having sex for a while until you feel more comfortable.
There’s guys who sleep with you on the first date and want something serious, there’s guys who wait and want just a fling. There’s no way to tell cause people are unpredictable. But honestly, don’t worry so soon.
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