Dating : I’m sorry I judged you all, I’m now one of those cynical OLDs
I recently got back into online dating after a long hiatus and was finding it was going pretty good. I also found this sub and was surprised at how jaded and cynical people here were.
Well, I was feeling pretty good about myself because I had two first dates set up this weekend, both with girls that seemed interesting and were attractive. You can guess what happened – both canceled on me, one of them this morning, just hours before we were supposed to meet.
So count me as cynical, guys. This sucks, especially the girl canceling today. I was really looking forward to meeting her as she’s been the one of the few people I’ve been having fun, easy going conversation with over text. I guess just move on, right?
Ideally you want people in your life that put out effort so unless their dog died, car wreck or sick NEXT! Move on Bro you are worth it!!
After being single for a year, after a long term relationship fell apart, I thought I was ready to date.
I was actually in tears, and bawling both before and after the date. There is nothing wrong with the guy I saw, I just realized I was not over the break up completely and I had to work more on myself. So I deleted a 2 day old dating app, and tried to tell the guy on the date that I was so sorry for wasting his time.
Sometimes the dates don’t happen, not because of you, but because people have other things going on in their lives. So I mean, moving on and not taking it personally might give you the most closure at the end of the day.
Sorry that you’re hurting. I hope things start to go better for you.
Edit: clarification.
A cancel is actually quite considerate.
Many times I had no shows without notice.
For whatever reason, when people describe conversations or interactions as fun and easygoing, I feel kind of oppressed.
Don’t give anybody the benefit of the doubt until they’ve earned it
Flaking is just part of life. Both guys and girls. OLD & IRL. You and me. It’s background noise. Keep moving on.
What kind of explanations did they give when cancelling?
Move on, happens to everyone
Try IRL.
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They flaked. Got scared of meeting. Yeah just move on. If they don’t want to meet the first time, they usually won’t ever meet.
Move on. Don’t ask them anything. We can change our minds. You might do it too. Such is life.
There’s no commitment or responsibility any more. People just cancel on each other all the time now like it’s common place. And the ones who happen to be in relationships don’t understand the struggle their single friends go through.
I think they did you a favour.
Personally if I’d agreed to meet someone I’d make sure I turned up to the damn meet.
If they can’t do that then I don’t want to know them.
I don’t really think there’s a point to being cynical about it.
I’ve been catfished more times than I care to admit and even had one person show up to the date, take a picture of me, say « I just have to prove to my friends you’re as fat as your pictures, » and then walk out.
These things sucked, but they don’t keep me from putting myself out there anymore. They did for a long time, and they completely shattered my self confidence for a bit and I’ve lost out on a lot of potential relationships because of it, but then I realized something: some people suck. The people who suck shouldn’t influence my outlook on dating as a whole and when something shitty happens, I try my best to think about what might be happening in their lives to make them act that way. Except the girl that snapped a picture of me. She just sucks.
What those women did sucks. That being said, you don’t know what might be going on in their lives to make them cancel. So you don’t know for sure that they themselves suck. Don’t let it discourage you. See if you can reschedule, and if neither of them make an effort to see you again, they still might not suck and could (probably, even) just have something going on in their lives that’s preventing them from wanting to go out.
I’m sorry this stuff has you feeling down. Try touching base with them and hopefully they can help clear things up and give you some closure.
Edit: grammar
What’s an OLD?