Dating : Interesting situation ended into the friendzone. Any advice?
Yes. I was a pushover.
Yes. I was way too romantic
Yes. I gave in.
To begin,
This girl had shown she was wildly interested in me and i was also interested in her. We immediately started dating and it went well. We went out a bunch of times. Then i started noticing she started changing her attitude… and she started being weird. Look, her dad has cancer and he had been getting worst. We had that physical attraction where we would hold hands all the time, we would kiss. And yea. It was good. But then right before she leaves to Portugal. I send her a really deep messsge showing my affection for her to make her know that i am here. I wasnt gonna see her for 2 months. Turns out her response to my message was something along the lines of « danny your a very cute and amazing guy honestly, i wish i can say the same that i am in love with you like you are with me but i just dont feel that way. Im dealing with too many emotional burdens especially from my dads illness and i feel incapable of being in a comprised relationship. I have to admit i do have a really good time with you although not as boyfriend girlfriend » okay so. Friendzoned…
Now i havent texted her for like 5 days now, shes in Portugal. I dont get to physically see her till august 10 i believe. I admit, its all sorts of fucked up from her part and mine. But you know i kinda do wanna get things fixed cause it was honestly really nice to be with her. And she just doesnt know me and i dont know her yet. Theres lots of things that i feel there is that we can do.
I want to get shit straight with her. I want her again. What can i do?
Nothing really. She’s going to have to handle the situation with her dad for now. That’s going to be he first priority. My advice would be to actually back off. I’m not really sure what the circumstances are for August 10. Don’t cancel that. But give her some space for now. You don’t want to push her away.
Understood that you really want things to work. But as you know, it has to go both ways.
> »danny your a very cute and amazing guy honestly, i wish i can say the same that i am in love with you like you are with me but i just dont feel that way. Im dealing with too many emotional burdens especially from my dads illness and i feel incapable of being in a comprised relationship. I have to admit i do have a really good time with you although not as boyfriend girlfriend »
It is what it is man. You didn’t make any mistakes, you guys just werent on the same page. Thats it.
And at this point, you can’t go back and be like « ok I didnt really mean it like I said it…I mean I really like you but I’m not like THAT in love with you to the point where its like creepy you know? » It all sounds weird at this point.
If she’s not contacting you after that exchange, I would move on dude. Sure, you can « get straight with her » and tell her, again, how you feel…but expecting a different result with the same actions is not the most sane approach.
What can you do:
Not pressure her/ give her space
Stop thinking about her through moving on
Don’t give up all hope
Nothing you can do. She made her choice, best thing you can do is move on.
I would give her space. Maybe after some time check in but check in on her dad because that’s what’s most important in her life right now.
And just be supportive here and there but not overbearing.
DON’T TEXT HER OR CALL HER.
LET HER COME TO YOU…..
IF SHE NEVER COMES BACK TO YOU. SHED A SINGLE TEAR EACH DAY….. AND KEEP STEPPIN…..
idk if you spiritual or not but God (or the universe, or fate) ain’t gonna give you something you not ready for……..