Dating : Is he interested in me or just my body?
I met this guy on bumble who lives a little ways from my town. We went on this awesome first date, stayed out way too late, and he ended up staying over. I’m not typically one to have sex on a first date so we cuddled and made out and talked.
We hung out every day for the next 2 days and eventually had sex. Out in public he was polite and cute, doing little gestures and putting his arm around me. My friends and I ended up going to his friends house to drink and play games as a big group. Before he went back to his city at the end of the weekend we kind of discussed wanting to continue seeing each other and getting to know each other. We’ve texted on and off since then, sometimes cute little flirty messages. He’s sent me some “good morning beautiful” texts, and made comments about how much fun we had when we were getting busy.
I know I have some insecurities with dating, particularly when it comes to sex. I’ve been with some guys in the past that heavily focused on just that and I felt used to some degree. I have a bit of a fear that guys I date are just interested in my body. His comments about physical features seem flirty and fun, but a part of me wonders if he’s just interested in that part of me. It also makes me wonder if we’re moving quickly through the “seeing each other” phase and getting too comfortable. Am I over thinking things? Do I need to just chill?
Does he avoid visiting that special week out of the month?
I’d say chill. I’d say play it cool and see if he wants to hang out later with more talking and cuddling (out in public) and if it doesn’t lead to sex he is still okay with it and keeps hanging out. Dating is super hard nowadays.
Yes, you’re overthinking it. You want him to find you attractive – physically and mentally. Don’t make him out to be a creep when he’s not actually showing any signs of being one. Sexual interest is normal and healthy, as long as it stays within your comfort level. Just make sure you do more than JUST have sex. It sounds like you already are. Just relax, have fun and see where things go.
I want to apologize if I am blunt. I am just offering my piece to help you.
You are moving too fast.
You guys basically met on the first date then within 2 days BOOM sex. That is how I am reading it anyway. I can see that you probably hung out a lot and enough that he makes you feel comfortable to let that happen. It just sounds like you guys just hooked up and had a nice time together as fuck buddies. If you wanted something more than this then this should have been explicitly stated but it’s gonna be more difficult now to tell him unless he is REALLY a good guy. Maybe he is a pretty cool guy in public and the same/different with you in person. You both might have something that can turn into a relationship but you just gotta be chill.
Your fear stems from the disappointment of guys being nice to you and then you end up finding out their ulterior motives after. Just cause a guy is nice doesn’t mean he deserves pussy automatically. You’ll find a serious guy when he’s been nothing but sweet and the last thing on his mind is fucking you.
I believe you’re a sweet woman. I think you just want someone who can take you seriously or can talk about your brain/personality than your body. Surround yourself more with those types of people and you will be amazed. In my opinion, you can still talk to this guy and see where it goes but you aren’t official yet so you should look for other guys. The most serious will win the race and you’ll know it when you see it.