Dating : Is it too late for me
So about me I’m 26, a guy, I’ve had Depression (I have attempted suicide twice in the past as well) since I was a kid (also I have ADHD and am on the spectrum) and honestly at this point I give it 50/50 that it kills me before I’m 30. I am really trying to get better, I’m back in college after a 2 year break because previously I ended up failing 2 semesters worth of classes, I’m dual majoring in Biotech and Computer science, I am learning to drive, I’ve been sober since the last day of november (I’m a recovering alcoholic and been trying to get sober for a couple years now and I’ve not drank far more than I’ve drank these past couple years) I’m eating better, trying to lose weight semi successfull. I also live with my Mom because I cannot afford my own place while I’m trying to get my degree to become a programmer, I’m constantly depressed and I genuinely think I’m better off dead with the only thing really keeping me alive rn is not wanting to hurt my sister. I’m bisexual and a virgin at 26 and honestly I would rather die than be a virgin at 28 let alone 30, I’d also rather be dead than still be living with my mom at 30 as well and I’m seriously considering killing myself at 28 if I am still living with my mom or a virgin then.
I want to fall in love, I want to have my own place, my own career, I want a life and I’m trying but I cannot shake the belief that its just too late for me, that I’ll be 30 at least when I get my degree and then it will be too late, that I’m too fucked up to be able to find a partner, hell who would want to be in a relationship with someone like me? and that it doesn’t matter if I recover and I’m trying so goddamn hard to get better but I can’t help feeling that its too late for me and it makes me want to simply die.
Buddy,, you don’t have to make it all work at once. There are things you want to change so pick off an easy one to change, then go work on the next easiest until you get to the hard ones and then be able to seek out help to fix the hard stuff. Finding your place in the world and comfort level with yourself can be hard But every day is a chance for things to get better and we only get one life. Please seek out some counseling that can help you put things into perspective.
For the virgin/dating stuff , yeah it sucks not to have relationships or being alone but it really does get better as you get older. Keep your head up and don’t do something dumb like hurt yourself.
Dude, you’re in your mid 20s and a guy. Most men don’t reach their full potential in the sexual marketplace until about 35 years old. Dedicate your life to making more money and bettering yourself. Women will come later. Don’t stress it. And like what’s already been said, if you’re contemplating that, *PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE* seek help, for the love of every God out there, please seek help.
Hit the gym
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out. You can find help at a National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
USA: 18002738255
US Crisis textline: 741741 text HOME
United Kingdom: 116 123
Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860)
Others: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
It’s never too late. You’re still in your 20s, you’ve already started making changes and are aware of some of your shortcomings. Changing your outlook and attitude will lead to better things. Try not being so hard on yourself, you can turn things around.
You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Don’t try to tackle it all at once. Make something better that you can make better. Do that over and over and over again. Eventually you’ll get to where you want to be, but everyone moves at a different pace. The race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.
BRUH, I WISH I just had your issues. I’m a complete bag of crazy, AND I’m nearly 42. I was EXACTLY like you in my 20’s. Hell, I didn’t even get started really dating until I was 32 and I’ve slept with over 100 women. I was poor as hell until I was 34, then I finally hit on an idea and built a business that has provided me a great life and it has nothing to do with what I even went to college for.
Too late? Boy you’re just getting started. You’re a guy, there is no wall. You’re gonna have an AMAZING life, I can promise you that. Don’t give up yet king.
Stop putting yourself on a time limit, focus on yourself and your recovery, and don’t rush it. Life will find a way. Stop basing your selfworth on having sex/a relationship, there are so many other traits that define a great human being. Lastly, as a lot of others have stressed, seek help if you haven’t already done so.
I think that society has made us believe that we should have such things at such a point in our lives because for them this would be seen as something « rare ». Surely this is why you try to have everything that you think will make you happy, a home, a career, a partner, and it’s okay if you wanted those things but there is a difference between doing it because you want to, and force yourself to get it for what you think will bring you happiness.
If you want to have everything you have mentioned, take your time and don’t feel bad because at the end you didn’t get it – you have no control over things so feeling bad about yourself will only make you feel worse than you are.
By doing it because you think that this will bring you happiness, think better of it because in the end things might not turn out the way you want and this could affect me, this is what happens when you get excited about something, in the end you suffer disappointment when you don’t get it.
Now about your depression, I had also suffered the same, back then I started writing a book about what I was feeling to have a better understanding about my feelings and what caused me to feel like that, this helped me to deal with my depression a bit because I felt like I had control over my emotions by understanding them.
Also accepting your emotions could help you, I know that if you could wish to not feel that way, you would since it can become a problem in your life but what we feel is also part of us so we should not see it as a problem if not another part of us that makes us human, since each of us has felt this way at one point in our lives, negative thoughts and bad things that happen to you may not stop happening but in the end you are the one who decide if you will let that affect you or not.
oh, about if it’s too late for you, there is 7,874,965,825 people in the world, so to think that nobody will want to be with you is unbelievable.