Dating : Is it worth acknowledging that I (27M) may have come on too strong?
I’m asking for advice trusting that this is a judgment free zone
I’ve been casually going on dates with a girl (26F) I really like, but she’s not ready to be serious because she just came out of an abusive relationship. She still texts me everyday (claiming she likes texting me even after I told her she doesn’t have to) and I do what I can to make her happy. I hug her at the end of dates but I wonder if I’ve come onto strong. She told me about this last time I saw her (last month). I haven’t given up on her because I have empathy for what she went through and I still really like her and care about her. I get to see her on Saturday and I wonder if I should acknowledge that I may have messed up and come onto strong by offering her gifts when I go to cons or possibly being more into it than she is and I’m willing to pump my brakes and let her breathe and take all the time she needs to recover.
I mean you should definitely respect her wishes but imo a hug at the end of a date isnt really coming on strong…
Just my opinion, if i was you i would back off on her altogether for the time being. if she is still trying to talk to you ans hang out thats a good sign, but a hug being too much for her is a bad sign.
I wouldnt say anything/apologize for your behavior. Id just chill on talking to her a little bit and let her process her feelings.
Do it if you want, but you arent obligated to be her therapist and shoulder to cry on. Youre interested in a relationship and your time is valuable. Dont waste it on a dead end
What did she say exactly about you coming on too strong? I’m not seeing anything that’s too much from you especially since she’s the one texting you everyday. Sounds like she’s just not interested in dating you but likes platonic attention from you. I wouldn’t wait around hoping for it to change if I were you. Someone who doesn’t want to hug you but wants to text constantly is only looking at you as a friend. These are hang outs to her, not dates. Just two friends hanging out with one friend who wants more.
Doesn’t sound like you’re coming on strong, it just sounds like you’re a rebound and she has unresolved issues leftover from her « abusive relationship » which are inhibiting how your relationships develops with her. Rebounds are extremely precarious and often kinda crappy to be honest.
Don’t acknowledge something that didn’t happen. If anything, you should dial it back because she is not in a good state to be relationship material. You don’t need to hang around and be her therapist until she’s « ready for a relationship again » or whatever.
Warning: strong chance she gets back with her ex.