Dating : Is my dating profile not being shared?
I recently made new profiles on Tinder, Bumble, and hinge. According to Tinder I have 3+ likes and according to Bumble and Hinge I have none. This is disappointing because Bumble and Hinge have quite a bit of quality profiles that I see.
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Is there a reason for this? Is my profile not even being shared? Obviously I don’t think I’m a stud but I have been experimenting with different bios and my pictures are high quality. the fact that not a single person has liked my profile concerns me.
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I recently learned that these kind of apps have algorithms that rank you which affect your visibility. How is it fair that I see all these great profiles but they may never see mine?
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What am I doing wrong?
You probably aren’t doing anything wrong.
Exhibit A:
https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a
Exhibit B:
https://www.yourtango.com/2016285828/women-find-80-percent-men-unattractive-says-crazy-study
So, this is the jist of an elo system.
You are ranked based on the number of women you swipe right on, and how they swipe on you.
Guy A, swipes right on 20 girls in a week. Matches with 2. Gay A has a 10% swipe success rating, so he’s going to drop in elo, and be shown to women who only get about 10% swipe success also.
Guy B, swipes right on 100 girls in a week. Matches with 70 of them. This guy has a 70% swipe success rating, and will get shown priority to women who also have a very high swipe success rating.
In theory, the goal is to only swipe right on girls you know will swipe you right also, to boost your elo, but if there was a legit way to game the algorythm it’d be all over youtube and tinder would be out of business.
The truth is… Women are only swiping right 14% of the time. Imagine you live in a relatively decent size city, population 100k. That means of the assumed 50k men, let’s just assume only 20k are even eligible, that means she only wants to talk to 2800 of them.
Women are NOT going to be on swiping through 2800 men, they’ll swipe to like 50 every once in a while maybe. Otherwise, here and there. Almost 90% of guys are going left anyway. So, in order to get in a situation where you are higher in elo, you’d need to be one of the guys that the majority of women are swiping right on.
How do you get there? Be hot… It’s that simple, there’s no game to it, it’s really simple. I saw a youtube video with a guy who had 1400 likes on tinder… Even if you assume 1000 of them are ugly… that’s 400 potential hot dates that guy could go on, of which probably more than 50% of them would sleep with him.
Online is feast / famine. You either are or you are not.
The good news is, once you know you are not, then you know your play is personality. Because, thank God, women are more connection driven than physical, so if you can get a chance to talk to them, you might be able to make them like you.
So, stick to offline, go to bars / clubs, embrace being the invisible majority, this completely takes any load off your back, you don’t have to try because you already know you’re a reject pile, so, you can actually stop trying hard and just talk to girls.
Once a year or so, you’ll be in the right place at the right time, you’ll get lucky. Or, you can just pay for it, or go your own way. But, that’s basically how it works for majority of males.
Either bad pics or horrible bio…
Or you’re not attractive enough tinder is rough. Sorry
give it 3 months not 1 day. if after 3 months you get nothing then you can make enquiries.
I think there are a lot of factors to consider. Are you in a big city? What parameters do you put in? Are you too selective?
I figured out the problem. Unlike Tinder, Bumble doesn’t notify you that someone liked you if they are outside your preferences. I apparently had three potential matches that were outside of my 50 miles search radius.
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And funny enough when I removed those filters and started swiping, I matched with all three of them in less then a minute. Plenty of Fish was like this too. If someone swipes right and you get the push notification that user is almost always at the top of your feed.