Dating : Is this too high of a standard?
Say i want my partner to have 2-3 main similar interests, so that we can do things together. My partner should be someone who has similar energy levels, can be somewhat more or less energetic, so that i dont get drained and or feel like im doing all the talking. That person should also have a similar drive and work ethic in life as me, so that even though we are together, she could still live with some independence, even if our goals differ. We should also both share the same discipline in life, living a similar lifestyle in terms of budgeting, diet, exercising etc. Lastly, we should share similar attitudes in terms of how we deal with crisis management and conflict resolution.
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All of these are important to me. At what point is it considered too high of a standard? If my partner doesn’t have all of these, at what point does it becoming « settling »? Conversely, at what point should i accept the differences (or maybe even flaws) and worked towards building something that we can both manage?
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Are these criteria something that i should even be looking for? Have you found someone who doesn’t share these similar traits as you and still have a wonderful relationship?
I have a great relationship with someone who I share very little in common with.
I wasn’t looking for anything specific when we met and I definitely didn’t have a thought out criteria like you.
While sure, it’s a good idea to know what you’re looking for – be careful you aren’t giving yourself tunnel vision.
How attractive are you?
I don’t think this is too high of a standard, this means you know what you want from a partner. The only thing is you might have a hard time finding someone checking all your boxes.
Those are good things to aim for, but don’t give up on people just because they don’t check all the boxes after a first date.
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Sure, there should be some deal breakers, like conflict resolution and being able to live independently (equal drive and work ethic are not necessary to do that. Emotional maturity is tho).
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It’s considered settling when something bothers you, but you start excusing them in your mind.