Dating : Is using a racial slur on a date a red flag?
For context I am a South Asian woman living in the UK.
I was on a second date with a white man. He was talking about how he doesn’t get offended by anything. And him and his friends often make fun of each other.
He went onto say that his South Asian friend says racist stuff towards white people. And in turn he says racist stuff back. He said: « And I call him a p*ki ».
I was shocked that he said a racial slur on this date. I felt very awkward and excused myself to the bathroom. I called him up on this and he apologised for saying it. The rest of the date went fine and he’s asked to see me again.
I’m not sure if him saying that word should be a red flag or not. That word has been used to bully me and I just don’t like hearing it. At the same time, I know that as people we grow and learn. Maybe he just made a mistake?
What should I do? Am I completely overreacting?
It’s odd at the least that he’d even mention such a story on a first date
Lady don’t waste your time. He’s going to eventually treat and/or view you the same way he viewed the people he used that slur about.
It’s hard enough finding a good guy, why waste your time with somebody who opens with that kind of thing?
You’re not overreacting. He’s low-key racists.
Well you’d be lying to yourself if you have had this word used on your for something wrong and ok it just because of a date. Im willing to bet if he sees you’re ok with it, he’s going to be much worse. To me he’s just shown who he is. You can deal with or not if you want to.
Definitely a red flag
Yes, it’s a red flag
i would say it’s a red flag especially considering he thinks there’s such a thing as “racist against white people”