Dating : It is easy to reassure someone when it is not their problem.
Before we start, i just want to say. I know how to cook, I know how to clean I keep my living space clean, I know how to do laundry. I take care of myself grooming wise. I exercise and I am not bad looking. I have some musical talent. Being social is a little difficult for me but I manage.
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When I was younger at 18 I got diagnosed with a mental illness. It was brought on mostly from drug use, a bit of genetics, starting college, and having my girlfriend at the time cheat on me. So being in a relationship since then has not been an easy thing for me. Now at 27 and I am lonely as could be.
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Asking people for advice I get all the same cliches. « Just be yourself » and « It’ll happen when you least expect it ». That is just so easy to say to someone when it is not their problem. I am just someone who wants to get into a relationship because of the right reasons, because someone loves me. Not because society thinks that I must have something inherently wrong with me because I am not in a relationship. That I am not « masculine » because I do not have sex often. That I have a mental illness and therefore unlovable. Everyone is right I just want it to happen when I last expect it. The problem is is that I am never expecting. I am not the most social person around. I drink at depressing bars with patrons that are elderly, If I do go out for a drink. The more life slips by me the older I get.
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I am currently finishing up university, I have an internship next semester. There was a couple women in my classes that I liked but I just could not compete with all the other guys around. The one that I really like ( a soccer player) broke up with her hometown boyfriend and then a couple months went by and ended up dating some jock baseball player. I am not young a super muscular. I could not compete, I am just a wimp. Maybe I have a bad attitude, maybe my standards are to high. Maybe I am not as good looking as I think. All I really know is that being in a long term relationship is never going to be a thing for me. This should be the thing I am never expecting it where is my girlfriend I am not expecting it, flawed logic and flawed advice.
It is just never going to happen. I think I am at the point where I am going to stop complaining about it on Reddit even. I am not entitled to a love life so fuck it. Being single is the best thing for me. Being in a relationship won’t fix problems it’ll only cause more. Real life is not like a Disney movie. Fuck it. I have my mind made up.
I bet it’s probably women giving you the « it’ll happen when you least expect it » BS, right? They genuinely believe that because for women it tends to be true and they don’t understand that the dynamic is different for men. You can’t be passive and expect things to « just happen ».
Your expectations of relationships and dating are so sky-high you are setting yourself up for failure without even having attempted anything. Dating is more of a cold numbers game rather than a direct path to eternal happiness as romantic movies make it out to be.
You need to be confident here to succeed, but I’m not going to tell you to pretend to be confident. Confidence comes from previous earned experience. Work on yourself, get in shape, put yourself on a path to financial stability. While you’re doing that you need to put yourself out there past your comfort zone and be prepared to fail many times. It’ll take a while before you get a handle on the process of reading people, asking girls out, dating and the hundreds of variables that go into it. Once you have experience your confidence will project outwardly and you’ll find good things just start happening to you with less effort on your part.
If your attitude is going to be « a long term relationship is never going to be a thing for me » then don’t be surprised when you end up like the man who posted here a week or so ago at 65 who described his crippling loneliness and life-long regret.
you’re going for soccer player, they look like lesbians. you need to try dating women that don’t look like dykes.
i watched the womens world cup last week and 90% look and act like dykes. when they score a goal theyre so butch n.masculine, they copy the men when they celebrate a goal by piling on top of each other like a lesbian version of World war Z zombie movie.