Dating : Is it ok that I ghosted my ex?
Hello
I think it’s been 3 weeks since I ghosted my ex girlfriend. I wanted to talk it through with her, explain things to her and hear her point of view, but it felt completely impossible.
My Ex Girlfriend very strongly represents and has traits of what’s known as a Sociopath. From causes to behaviour to lifestyle. I just felt like I was in a corner, when I asked her about things that I felt uncomfortable or confused about, I would approached her in what I felt was a very kind, warm and non judgemental manner. At first I would be met with blanket statements like « Do you want to be with me or not? ». Eventually it would become excuses, confusion and « I don’t know » followed by constant apologies that never lead to anything.
I felt that if I truly told her how I feel she wouldn’t be able to comprehend or reply in a healthy manner. I feel like she would tell me I’m a selfish asshole, try to convince me I’m wrong and put the blame on me.
I feel so horrible for ghosting her and I can’t help but feel I should at least send her a letter ending things. I can’t help but wonder if maybe I am wrong, maybe I am crazy? It’s all so confusing and upsetting.
Thankyou in advance for reading this. It’s much appreciated
Unless you think you would be in physical danger, it’s the least you can do to let her know that it’s over. Though, the damage is probably already done.
I honestly don’t think it’s okay to ghost anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary, like they’re stalking you or the situation is a bit harmful to you.. idk where this culture of ghosting came from but ghosting people just leaves the door cracked open for that other person with no resolution, which is really hard to deal with, and it’s just so rude and dehumanizing.. I’ve been ghosted a few times and it takes a while to get over and makes you feel so hurt, especially when it happens so suddenly and out of nowhere.
But I also think it really depends on how you ghosted them if you technically ghosted them at all. For example I think if you sent her a text and were like “bing bang boom I’m leaving you and I’m 100% done” (you can say that in a nicer way) and then briefly explained why you’re leaving in ways that can’t be argued such as “I’m not happy” and “I think this is the best decision for myself” and then she responded to you and you didn’t respond, you didn’t really ghost her. You kind of told her how you felt and didn’t budge and she just wanted more out of you that you didn’t have because you said what you needed to say.. does that make sense? But if you guys got into an argument or something and you just stopped responding to her without explicitly being like I’m done then yeah that’s kind of fucked up. Even if she is a sociopath you should still follow up and be like hey I’m sorry but this isn’t working for me anymore and I’m leaving and just leave it at that. Like I said, say things that aren’t arguable like “this isn’t what I want right now” or “I don’t think want to work things out”.. everything else that she says after that would kind of just be for the sake of not losing you, even though she already did, and it’s kind of like not necessary to respond I feel. Yeah that might hurt her but you can’t argue with someone who says they aren’t happy you know? So what’s left to talk about after? Nothing.
I wish you the best!