Dating : Just lots of questions
33/f here. Started dating a guy 35/m three weeks ago. I’ve been single for 2 years. He’s been separated for 6 months. Both of us were in 10+ year long relationships before becoming single.
1.) What exactly does the term « talking to » even mean?! He says all his friends know he’s « talking to » me. Is that a cop-out for saying we’re dating? Or he doesn’t consider us dating? I know I should have asked him what he meant but I didn’t because it wasn’t until after the fact that I realized I wasn’t sure what it even meant. My 8th grade students use this phrase. Am I over-thinking?
2.) What’s everyone’s opinions on a normal amount of time to spend together at first? We spent 2 nights together and when I asked if he wanted to do something on the third night he said he was exhausted and just wanted to catch up on sleep. I was hurt but kind of relieved. Do I leave it up to him to make our next set of plans since he shot me down? We have seen each other on average 3-4 times each week. I would say he has made most of the plans.
3.) The other night he said he wanted to take me to a nice dinner. His nights off he has his son, he said he’d get a babysitter so we could go somewhere nice. We didn’t set a solid date. Is it wrong of me to bring it up and ask when we’re going to do that? Because I’d really like to.
4.) He has lots of female friends. One was going to meet us at the bar the other night but she never came. Her boyfriend doesn’t like the friendship she has with my guy. The 2 of them went to lunch together last week, with a bottle of wine. Bothered me but I didn’t say so. When we were out the other night he was texting her and said, « I never got to give you your birthday hug! » And they said they love each other. I’m trying to play it cool with the friends but that bothered me. I made a smartass comment about his girlfriend. I was drunk. He was like wow I can’t believe you said that. Should I bring it up and and discuss it? I wish she had came out so I could meet her. Do I apologize to him for what I said? He talks to his friends who are women A LOT. I don’t know if I’m being over sensitive about this.
He’s been great to me. Goes out of his way to do nice things for me. Great chemistry in person.