Dating : My height is getting in the way of me getting a man
I’m 4’9 and weigh about 47kgs. I’m 21 years old and in short I look twelve. Every guy I meet who I’m attracted to says they see me as their younger sister and will do anything to protect me. Lol. Idiots. My male friends are quite overprotective as well for some reason. I hate being called cute all the damn time and I don’t like how I have to try 50000 times harder to look attractive. I’ve tried gaining weight but I guess my metabolism is way too high for my own good. I don’t like heels and I’m more into sneakers but I guess this makes me look more like a baby. Argh, life.
I see a lot of these posts, about short girls struggling to fine dates, and I find it such a bizarre concept.
I absolutely love short girls, and can think of 100s of reasons to date one.
I did go on 1 date with a 4’11 girl, and her main concern was also not coming across and ‘cute’. Sadly, she was trying so hard not to be adorable, that she was just a straight up asshole most of the time.
I don’t think your height will ever hold you back in dating, there’s a huge demand for short girls if you ask me. I don’t want to come across harsh in any way, but there must be a different reason you’re finding it hard to get dates, because height shouldn’t be a factor
You sound perfect for the vertically challenged men (ie 4”11- 5’2” ish folks)
Unless you’re into tall guys then it’s another story lol
I thought this was gonna be a « to tall » post. Thought dudes loved short.
Eh you’re just not finding the right guys. Lots of guys prefer short girls. I’m one of them. Also you totally sound not cute and are totally not adorable. I got 50 year old cougar vibes from you for sure.
Damn, dudes are thirsty in the comments today!
« My metabolism »
Track your calories, you’ll find that you aren’t actually consuming enough calories to gain weight.
You probably would have a lot more luck with the really short guys. They’ll appreciate the same situation you’re going through.
I guess they just don’t want to show up in the next episode of to catch a predator.
Dudes don’t care about your height, you do.
Your height isn’t the reason people won’t date you. People have their preferences, yeah and that’s fine but your height is something people will tell you to avoid telling you the truth. Similar to those that are told their “too nice” etc.
It’s difficult but be entirely honest with yourself and objectively look at your personality or potential red flags.
You sound adorable.
Are you fucking kidding me? I’m shocked every guy and their sister isn’t trying to fuck you. I love short petite girls.
Some guys prefer tall girls and some guys prefer short girls, I’m sure you’ll find one who sees you for how beautiful you are
Being of significantly below average height is not as much as a disadvantage for women as it is for men. In fact, short and thin women are considered attractive by many cishet men and are, unfortunately, often fetishized.
A male of equivalent height (5’2″) would face significant disadvantages in many ways, especially in dating.
Here’s a thought; lower your standards. You clearly aren’t as attractive as you think you are. You’re probably going to have to just settle for a shorter man. Your 6’8″ prince charming ISN’T right around the corner. He doesn’t want to date you because he doesn’t exist, and even if he did, he’d be into taller women. Just compromise. I’m sure you’ll be happier that way. Otherwise get used to dying alone.
Hey, I know it seems hard now, but you’ll meet a guy someday who’s into the more… « adorable » kind of woman 🙂
Heck, there’s a whole subreddit for guys into that sort of look ^^’
Just remember, what one person will dislike about you, another will love <3
I see that as an advantage over other women
a lot of guys like different things/attributes about a woman I hate to sound weird or rude but maybe try being open when it comes to dating.. like would you only date someone if YOU were attracted to them? what if a guy was attracted to you but you didn’t feel the same way.. would you give him a shot? me for example I have a thing for girls with glasses.. lol them being shorter than me is good too cuz its cute.. I love playing with my girls hands because they are so tiny compared to mine.. I just hope she doesn’t think its weird lol.. anyways I think that’s the kind of thing you don’t like, right? being thought of as cute.. its tricky.. I think you should just be yourself though and embrace it you shouldn’t be trying so hard to look attractive.. one day a guy will appear that will like you for you and will think you are super beautiful on your off days lol.. good luck OP
All I want to add is embrace your outer cuteness. Its far more sexy than trying to be a femme fatal. As long as you are not going for the childy cuteness ofcourse.
Where you at? I got a short single friend and he often gets passed by because girls are taller than him. Oh shit, he’s 30 though. Too old? God, we’re all getting old. It just ain’t the same anymore.
As a short dude, I feel your pain. Just gotta keep on keeping on!
Op is a very rare and cute animal by the sounds of it. Plenty of dudes will love this.
I usually make a point not to tell women how to dress, but maybe you could split the difference – heels for nights out / special occasions, and sneakers or flats for day to day?
I’m a 5’6″ guy, and while I would never go full Tom Cruise with lifts, I have some chukkas and nice leather boots with a modest heel on them because I’ve dated women who like to wear heels but don’t want to appear taller than me. More often than not you’ll see me in Converses though.
One of my cousins is short too, 4’10 » or so, and once she got out of college she started rocking the corporate chic look. It DEFINITELY made people take her more seriously. She’s a regional exec for a skincare company now.
Try wearing stuff more ‘mature’ girls would wear. Talk to someone in fashion and ask them to help you pick out 2 or 3 outfits. It’ll help send a signal that you’re a woman.
It could also be the way you act. If you act too innocent or passive for example. Speak out every once in a while.
Shorter guys.
Also, get platform sneakers.
I am 5’5 and 4’9 seems perfect with me. I have never dated one before but I would definitely give it a try. It’s just in today’s world we are focused on finding the ones we like, we miss the ones who like us. 😛
What type of man are you looking for? I keep seeing short women go for the tall dudes. Stop doing that. Go for the short guys.
I’m 5’4″ as a man. It’s hard.
Shorter girl are way attractive
I get that you’re going for sexy, but what you have going for you is cute and adorable. Lots of guys, including me, go for the cute and adorable girls over the sexy/hot girls pretty much 100% of the time. The best thing you can do is just embrace it. Be you, but if someone likes you because you’re cute, don’t get upset about it.
Idk about you but the numbers you mentioned are Ons for me, but I’m not a big guy 5 ft 9 and 68 kgs. Could it be that you’re only looking for 6 ft+ guys or ones with chiselled abs? In that case, I don’t think you should be complaining.
One of my first boyfriends was a guy who was my best friend and always called me his “little sister.” Trust me that just bc your friends call you that doesn’t mean that they’d never date you.
are you open to dating a short guy??
I’m 6’3 and I have dated short girls in the past, nevertheless it is worth saying that if looking to get a 6’7 boyfriend it may be hard to find, try dating guys of shorter height such as yourself.
I said it in the best way possible.
Sounds like you’d make a perfect little spoon
LOL HI I AM 20 AND I’M 4’8!!!! I’ve always been insecure about my height haha and not just in regards to dating. In everyday life I feel like people tend to overlook me because of my size! I mean I don’t blame them, because I get it, but it’s frustrating!!! I also get mistaken for being ~ 15-18 years old as well. I’ve been told that my demeanor shows that I’m more mature though (I feel like people just say that to make me feel better though)
I also worry that guys wouldn’t want to date me because I’m not tall, long legged, “sexy”, womanly looking….. & etc. I haven’t dated in a while due to wanting to work on some personal issues but I’ve had two boyfriends in high school. Hmm, I’m not too sure how much they qualified as a serious relationship.
ANYWAYS, they were 5’9 & 5’8!! I’ve also talked to a lot of guys around the 5’10-6ft range as well.
I’m still struggling with being insecure about my height, but honestly, I’ve come to realize that there’s no point in ruminating over it. It’s not like I’ll grow any taller the more I complain/get upset about it. There’s definitely assholes out there who are pretty insensitive and will make comments about my height though.
I don’t necessarily have any tips for you.. I guess this whole post was just me trying to say that I understand, I really do. Also, there ARE guys out there who don’t mind the height difference! Maybe the wait will be worth it!!!
Good luck with everything 🙂
Maybe im over reading here, but the fact you call your « friends » idiots over their perspective…i don’t think its your height thats unattractive.
Honestly you sound perfect to me. Coming across as cute isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you just have to find the person that it works for.
For me I’m 6’3 and 150 lbs, I’d like to gain like 20 lbs but I’m in the same boat as you and unable to gain weight.
Eh. You’ll find someone. I dont have too strong of preferences for women personally. I once went out with a girl your height though. The height wasn’t a turn off. But her desperation was. She spent the entire date acting desperate instead of just being herself and relaxing. Just be yourself and dont be afraid to make the first move. You’ll find a guy.
I think our minds try to make sense of things in the safest way in order to protect the ego.. truth is, there are loads of short girls who have boyfriends. Tall boyfriends, short boyfriends, and all the heights in between. If you’re seen as cute, it isn’t your height that is the cause, though of course it could be a contributing factor.
It’s how you portray yourself. The words you use, the clothes you wear. Your energy. How you hold yourself. All of these things are within your power to change 🙂
I got « cute » all the time.. from my early teens until my late 20s when I adopted a fake it til you make it mentality and gave « sexy » a go. I still feel cute on occasion, but also confident, sexy, and comfortable in owning my sexuality.
All that aside.. you don’t have to change a thing about yourself for anyone, ever.
You’re young! It’ll all happen as it’s meant to 🙂
I’m 6ft 4 and I would date someone ‘small’ wouldn’t be an issue for me. Then again sometimes I think I’m too tall so I get where your coming from
4’11 / 5’0-ish girl here, I understand the frustration. I’ve just learned to embrace it, to be honest, but then again I do enjoy being called cute and even play it up sometimes. Don’t worry though, you don’t have to try harder to look attractive. If you want to wear sneakers all the time, do. Confidence and being comfortable with yourself is more attractive than anything. If you don’t let your appearance get you down and continue socialising with others you’ll eventually find potential dates that like you for you, and that includes your height.
Odd, I love short girls and I know a lot of guys that like short girls as well.
I love short women! That’s my preference. You’ll be fine don’t worry.
My best friend actually is 4’9 and 21 lol but she’s never really seriously tried to date or anything so maybe this is a bit different in her experience.
She hates it when people make jokes or references her height and honestly understandably so. However, she found someone who treats her well and she wasn’t even on the dating scene! I know this comment isn’t too much extensive help but I think the right person wouldn’t mention shit. It’s tiring to have something like that constantly refers to things you dislike. However, I think in time it’ll all pan out for you. Just gotta sort through all the bullshit first