Dating : not sure what i’m doing wrong

Dating : not sure what i’m doing wrong

i (23F) feel like i have failed at dating for the past two years. i was in a long-term relationship for about a year and a half, and since then have had little to no *action* in the aftermath. i’m not particularly looking to be completely tied down or just for a hook up … i’m really open to anything. i also don’t consider myself too picky, just looking for an outgoing dude with a sense of humor.

i think my main issues might be:

1. i’m relatively shy/not the life of the party, but open up when you get to know me. i might come off as stand-offish if you’re just looking at me thanks to my RBF, but once you talk to me i am a nice person (for the most part lmao)
2. i often feel less feminine than other girls, so it’s hard for me to feel attractive? in addition, i’m 5’9 » and avg weight – sometimes i guess i just feel larger i suppose (which is a sep issue that i am working on)

there could be other things i’m not thinking of rn, but those two issues stand out to me the most as something that could be preventing me from success? also, for reference, i have tried dating apps. met up with two guys and the dates were fine, i just didn’t feel anything really so it didn’t go anywhere. i know it’s hard to evaluate based on such little information, but i’m happy to answer any questions that might lead to any honest and unfiltered advice – i can take it. thanks 🙂

What do you think?


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  1. Have you tried approaching guys or are you sticking to the tried and true method of waiting for guys to approach you? If you are, you’ll be waiting for a long time. Swipe apps have made approaching a woman, especially one rocking RBF, entirely obsolete.

  2. You’re still so young! Since you just got out of a long relationship maybe it’s time to focus on yourself and learning what else you like in guys. I think apps are perfect for that especially if you’re not picky! My advice is to increase the number of guys you try and match with.

    1. Even if you’re shy it may help to just approach guys? Even with a compliment. Guys get intimidated and nervous too so initiating it might help. This is a surefire way to get the guys you want (the guys that approach me are 90% always ones I don’t want lol)
    2. Tall women will always be winners in my eyes. I say find what makes you feel attractive. That translates into confidence! Wear different clothes, experiment with hair and makeup. All that makes being a woman that much more fun.

    Please don’t feel insecure if men aren’t chasing after you. They’re lazy. Haha you’re best bet is building yourself up to knowing that you’re incredible and beautiful and have a lot to offer. Once you’re at that point and have people validate it, it should feel like smooth sailing.

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