Dating : Opinions on texting habits and dating (from a 36f anti-texter)

Dating : Opinions on texting habits and dating (from a 36f anti-texter)

So I recently created a profile and posted on Reddit for the first time ever, on r/dating_advice after being a long-ish time lurker. Needed some general feedback on a problem I’m having. I’m recently back into the dating world – and online dating in particular – and am already annoyed with the increase in emphasis on texting *all day*, even before you have met someone for a first date. Even a few years ago, it wasn’t this bad.

You can click on my profile to find the post in question and for more context and responses, but the summary for that post is: “I hate texting all day every day. It seems like this is the new norm in dating, even for adults. How do I tell men this without coming across too harsh or uninterested?”

This prompted polar opposite responses. 1) People agreeing with me that it is – or at least *sounds* -exhausting and juvenile, and 2) People who seemed greatly offended by what I said, and proceeded to attack me 🙄 (the post *was* a little anger-ranty, so I’ll take some responsibility for all the pushed buttons).

I’m a very independent person and apparently I’m also “old fashioned”, when it comes to text habits since I remember a time when texting and dating weren’t so completely interrelated. I prefer to keep texting to a minimum until after the first date and then, I prefer to only use it for the odd witty exchange and to make plans. Even in a serious relationship, I don’t need “good morning” and “good night” texts and I don’t need to know what my guy ate for lunch, etc. I *especially* don’t need these texts from men I haven’t even met face to face and are strangers to me. In the latter situation, It just makes me very uncomfortable. You never know who is actually typing back to you on the other side of the screen. After the initial “get to know you” convo, I would prefer to meet in public as soon as possible.

My concern is that texting has become so engrained in this “have to be reachable at all times” society that I’m going to have to just suck it up and deal with it until I meet someone I like and even *then* gingerly explain to him that while I really like him, I don’t want nor need to hear from him so often. (Can we go back to an era where men were “shit” at communicating?? It was absolute bliss for me).

SO… ladies and gentlemen, can I conduct a small survey and ask how important texting is to your dating life? Both in the beginning and the serious stages of it? How often you you text your love interest or partner? Is it an even back-and-forth, or do you let the other person initiate most of it? Gender and age would be appreciated in your responses.

I’m cross-posting this to several other dating and lifestyle subs to hopefully get more insight. Not sure what the Reddit etiquette is on that, so kindly tell me if I should get lost. (Seriously. Teach me how to “reddit” because long time lurking doesn’t include posting rules).

Tl;dr How important is texting to you in both early stages or dating and in relationships? What are your daily texting habits with your romantic interest/lover? If you could include your age and gender that would be cool