Dating : Reminder: People who obsess early on are not normal
Another mess…another mistake from ignoring red flags. Giving someone a chance he didn’t deserve. People who obsess early on are not normal. They turn the fastest after rejection. The guys who get really intense early on with proclamations of how amazing I am end up being crazy, vindictive, and unstable. Just because a guy likes me a lot does not mean I owe him anything. I will not feel guilty for rejecting someone anymore. I will not let the frustrations of online dating drive me into the arms of another crazy. I will not open up and be intimate, emotionally and physically, until it is earned. I’ve been assuming kind and stable until proven otherwise. I have to see evidence of kindness and stability, in the face of actually challenges, before I leap into something. I’ll learn from this and this bullshit mixture of guilt, regret, embarrassment, fear, and self-doubt in my chest will go away.
It’s called love bombing commonly done by narcissistic people or borderline personality disorder people. It’s a huge red flag when they smother you before you’ve earned it. I’ve dated two abusive partners, never again. Normal people take time to develop strong feelings and thoughts for someone. Normal people are guarded.
what are some signs of someone being obsessed that you overlooked and instead of stopping it then, how did you advocate or respond to it when it did happen
The problem with early proclamations of feelings is that we often want affirmation from the person we’re seeing that they like us. so of course if there’s some guys telling us all the time they like us then it makes it sound like it’s a good direction of the relationship.
Unfortunately like you said liking someone too much too fast to also be a sign of negative attitudes down the road.
everyone needs to judge their early relationship material but certainly look at all the yellow and red flags and make a judgment call on that.
This happened to me.. he legit told me he was obsessed with me and that he wouldn’t be able to ever handle losing me, after being together maybe a month or two. Fast forward.. he ended up cheating, begged for me back, I was blind and took him back, and no more than three months later he started being rude and super distant to me, then broke up with me.. lol I am almost to the point of laughing about how stupid I was now, but this dude had me so warped. It’s been three weeks since we’ve broken up and I went no contact with him. I feel more alive now than I ever did with him. Never again!