Dating : Should I shoot my shot for a FWB?
Recently I got out of a really abusive and long term relationship(5 years). I (22F) went on vacation with my family and met this guy(29M) while he was out with his friends. I ended up giving him my number and he text me the next morning. We’ve been talking pretty much everyday since. Most times I do have to initiate the conversation but he always texts me back always stays in the conversation. I went out with him last week for drinks.
Me living near a big city and him living in the city, I dropped my car off at his place and he paid for an Uber for us to go out. He paid for everything which is something I never got in any of my previous relationships. He kept offering me his jacket, asking if I was okay/having fun, and opening doors for me. (Leads to my confusion) We stayed out late came home and ended up watching a movie in his room and ended up having sex.
We cuddled all night until I got a phone call and had to leave he walked me outside told me he had fun last night and I left. We ended up texting after that and we both agreed that we get better sleep if your sleeping with next to someone ( I sleep very light and can’t sleep throughout the night because I feel like I hear everything). He text me last night and asked if I was game to come over watch some movies and sleep over stating that he hasn’t slept good since the last time I came over. I went over last night and we hung out.
When I asked him why he was single, he told me that there’s a lot of self problems that he wants to work on and that he doesn’t feel like he can give his very best at the moment for a woman in his life. He was really up front about wanting to better himself and that he’s had problems in the past with relationships because of his own ego/pride. For the some of the same reasons I don’t want to be in a relationship( need my own time to heal) however I don’t want to lose him. Would I be crazy to ask for a FWB type thing? Even though in a way I feel like I am a booty call, he seems more into it than just casual sex.
Why on earth would you do that? He obviously likes you and just has his own problems. Give him time.
You understand that FwB is strictly sex and nothing else yes?
So no going out, no dates just sex.
Do a FwB if you want to do that but make sure you set up guidelines so it’s clear what is off limits.
Someone always catches feels in a FwB so be careful. Set rules and you should be ok
This is already beyond fwb, imo.
An fwb is supposed to be someone you wouldn’t see something long term with, but enjoy hanging out together (like watching tv and stuff). Doing it with someone you like makes the line murky…
This is opposed to a fuck buddy, which is someone you only see for sex. These are pretty great, as there’s a lot less emotion.
What it sounds like you have is a person not wanting a relationship. In my experience, it’s best to never, ever get feelings for someone like that. It will suck.
You need time to heal too. Idk what your toxic relationship was like but I dated someone that was supposedly 6 out of one. I’m not 100% sure what to think because she was a pathological liar; that’s pretty fucking toxic to me. She also seemed to get a thrill out of hurting me – I think she hates all guys, but she could hate everyone. Point being: you have no idea what kind of toxic behaviors you picked up by dating this guy; you could be fairly toxic yourself. You need to grow more, and so does he apparently (since that’s what he said). I started outgrowing my ego around 26, but it was a long time coming. I was 30 when I met her and she damn near ruined my life. So just enjoy the sex and if you can’t stay distant, it’s best to separate all together. You could be doing more harm than good for both of you.
No unless you want to date other dudes, simple as that. There’s plenty of dudes out there that will treat you right but I feel like you are a bit insecure due to your past relationship. Maybe make some goals you want to accomplish. Having a list of things to do is awesome.
Do your best and enjoy your young adult life, responsibly of course 🙂