Dating : Should men just stop approaching women altogether and only do OLD?
I’ve started doing this, to where I stop approaching women 100% and stuck to apps and, honestly, I’m much happier this way. This way, almost all contact would be solicited, since women have to actually be online the apps and actively match with you, like you need to actually be granted permission to reach out.
I know there’s pros and cons to everything but I think theoretically this would solve a lot of problems.
The answer here is pretty clear isn’t it, what has the species been doing for the last 200k years?
This obsession with not being creepy is just some people pleasing shit. There is no creep police. You don’t go to jail. You don’t get executed. What one girl finds creepy another could find adorable, and you ain’t a fucking mind reader.
Have morals, have standards, that you set yourself. Be polite, talk to her as a person first, not just a lump of meat. Think of getting to know her rather than just trying to fuck her. And don’t over stay your welcome. Read the signs, her body language, the way she’s talking. Ask her if you can take her for a drink, if she says no then say it was nice meeting you and leave. If you do all those things, if you treat her in a way you would want another guy to treat your sister or daughter, and she still finds it creepy, that isn’t your problem! You did your best to be polite, her issues are her issues, not yours.
Dating apps lose 2 customers every time people find someone and delete the app. They aren’t designed for you to win, they are designed to play on the most shallow of human desires and get people spending money for their “perfect match”. It’s a tool, not a full time strategy.
I mean don’t hit on me at the grocery store, but I’m not gonna be mad at a guy for shooting his shot if we’re at a social event. I’d prefer to meet a guy in person vs an app.
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I stopped OLD completely and feel better because I’m not wasting my time scrolling for hours or texting someone nothing will come from or I’ll just lose interest in. I am blessed to meet girls through my part-time job as a cashier and when I am out with friends on weekends so I’m okay with that I guess. Never really liked OLD. So no I really don’t think men should stop approaching but also men should looks for signs that it’s okay to approach or that it’s wanted in the first place.
Only works for 10% of men.
Idk I don’t know how other women feel about this but I never mind being approached in a friendly way. A quick compliment and a would you like to grab a coffee sometimes I would never see as creepy, as long as the person is friendly about it. And as long as they accept my no, since I am in a relationship, I am never threatened. Though it also very heavily depends on the environment. If it’s in the middle of a parking lot with no one around and maybe even night time? Leave her alone. Worst scenario. If you are in a mall I don’t think it’d be threatening. And remember to give her your number, don’t ask for hers. This gives her all the power and would at least make me feel safe! But then again yes, OLD is a lot more consensual! So I get where you are coming from! I just wanted to chime in, that as long as you aren’t pushy and accept a woman’s no and leave her alone after wards, I don’t see it as negative. Of course there is also a difference between „your ass looks hot in these pants“ and „excuse me I just wanted to say I think you look gorgeous“ but I am just gonna assume you meant the second one about approaching women! Either way I wish you the best of luck!
This makes me sad. 34f here. I am not doing OLD. I prefer being approached in person.
this is kind of sad… get off the apps and talk to people. Just don’t be a creep it’s really not that hard.
This generation makes me ill.
Women are not on the same page with this.
Also, I prefer the middle way.
I am not into being approached by strangers. I mean, I don’t think’t it’s wrong, I would be polite in declining, I just don’t like meeting potential partners like that. Same thing with OLD.
I prefer making organic friendships and if I match with someone, have the friendship grow into more.
No.
Cold approaching > OLD
ALWAYS!
When it comes down to it, it’s about trust, intent and compatibility.
With OLD, you know in general the intent and partially compatibility. Trust and further compatibility is then built up.
Outside of OLD, you don’t know any of these. At all. Nor do you know if someone is even single.
I’m not saying don’t hit on someone and only do OLD. But let’s not pretend that approaching someone in a random place is easier than OLD.
the problem with cold approaching or meeting irl is that, the pool of datable people near you is so small unless you live in a metropolis. OLD opens the gates to SO many more people. That is why I prefer it. Also I’m introverted and could never do a cold approach if I was dating. Maybe meeting irl is okay if it is a event or place just for single people, but it’s just a public place, like gym or store, that seems like a bad idea 9/10 times
This will never happen and wishing it were so won’t make it so. There are some things about reality you must simply accept and work to be your best at them.
We men need to get some self respect, stop being so thirsty and take back the power so women are forced to go out and do what we have to do.
There is no great reward without risk.
Yes! make them want you
I do honestly think this is easiest.
There are certain situations it is ok to approach a woman:
– If you’ve been introduced
– if you’re at a social event (preferably non work)
– if she’s seriously giving you smiles and keeps placing herself in your vicinity (better for those who can read body language/this excludes situations when is her job to do this)
– at a bar so long as she’s not either deep in conversation or looking nervous.
Pretty much everything else you’re taking a serious gamble. Maybe 1/10 women will be interested, but is it worth it if the remaining 9/10 women are left feeling uncomfortable and you’re adding to the culture where women feel they can’t go about their lives without being targeted for sex/having to reject someone?
As long as the man is respectful, doesn’t leer at me or give me creepy vibes, and gives me space to reciprocate as little or as much as I want to, I 10/10 would ALWAYS prefer a man to talk to me in person regardless of the setting.
You will hear women who say don’t approach me here or there and they are entitled to their opinions, but honestly I think that’s only true for men they don’t find attractive. If a man is hot and charming you want him to talk to you no matter where you are lol.
At the very least, even if he’s not your type, if he is sweet and respectful of boundaries (reads the room/doesn’t push for unwanted conversation etc.), it’s flattering and anyone who makes you feel like shit for that isn’t the girl you want to talk to anyway.
Pro tip: don’t ask her for her number. If the interaction is going well, leave her with yours. If she’s interested she will reach out to you.
My personal opinion is that men should stop association with women altogether. Once women realize that they overvalue themselves, dating will get better. In my opinion, there are far more entitled and ungrateful women than there are women who genuinely love men.
Yes!
No. I only recently started online dating. My exes asked me out in person, and I preferred that. My cousins and friends also met their bf in person. In class, in parties, in clubs etc. If u r comfortable with apps just stick with it, but asking in person works a lot better.