Dating : Should we stay friends
Went out with this girl who is very Christian. She wants to get married and have kids and I’m not feeling her like that. But I like her as a friend and have met a lot of nice people through her. Should I try to stay friends with her and her friends or should I cut ties. I am worried she may still have feelings for me if I stick around because she is kind of sheltered and doesn’t date much at all and while we were dating she was saying stuff about how she couldn’t imagine marrying anyone but me. And sometimes she gives me that look still.
You must be honest.
Simple as that. You must be honest to yourself, and then to her. If you do not feel like marrying this girl, or having children with her, then don’t let her expectation of you overshadow your own expectations.
It might hurt her, but the truth will be much easier to overcome on both sides. You must tell her all the reasons you did like her, but you must also come forth with your actual feelings about her. More-so, why you don’t see the two of you getting together in a permanent way.
If she refuses to accept this, then you will have to cut ties. Only then, however. Cutting ties abruptly will surely lead to her having false opinions of herself in the « Why me, why does he hate me. I’ll never find anyone like him » category.
Encourage her to keep going, though. It might be hard for her to accept, but I think she’ll appreciate it in the long run.
In short:
-Be honest with her. Tell her why you’re not interested.
-If she refuses to accept that you don’t wish to date her, then you must cut ties.
-Encourage her to find other people. It’s a milestone in itself that she’s dating you, despite not being someone that frequently dates.
-Drav
A vote for cutting everything off.
Cut it off, after talking to her. If you do tell her why it won’t work, that will help her. She may offer to change herself (common thing among girls) to keep you. Just reassure her that is fine as she is. Most people don’t get closure to why things end.