Dating : Sometime’s I feel like « Good Luck Chuck »

Dating : Sometime’s I feel like « Good Luck Chuck »

I’m sure this is already a forum somewhere on here. Rather than dig to search, I figure I just start my own and go from there. For the past five – years I’ve had terrible luck in the dating department. So much so, that I probably should have given up a long time ago (my curse is that I’m a hopeless romantic). I will admit that most of the guys I’ve met have been on either OkCupid or Tinder but when you live in New York City and work insane hours, it’s just easier to meet people on apps.

A recurring theme, hence the title, is guys telling me they’re not looking for anything serious. What has happened a few times now is a guy will end things with me only to be in a serious relationship soon after we’ve ended. Last year I had a guy string me along for eight months, telling me he’s not in the right place for a relationship, can only handle friendships, and doesn’t want to force himself to believe he’s ready to date anyone. Things end between us in April and he’s in a relationship in May (a year later still together). As brutal as it would have been I wish he would have just said, “I’m just not interested in dating you.” Because despite I’m sure all the visible red flags he still pursued me.

I try to tell myself it’s not me. My friends all tell me I’m a catch and it’s their loss but when this becomes a recurring thing in your dating life I begin to wonder if it’s actually me. I’ve gone so far to convince myself that maybe I can hold a guy if I were to lose 20 – 30lbs (I’m a thick girl – a really cute thick girl). The most recent guy has still stuck with me and it’s been a month since he ended things. At the beginning he pursued me and I played it cool. As time passed he became distant but was still around, checking in and making plans to hangout. When he ended things he didn’t handle it in the best way. The things he said hurt and still hurt. I don’t know if he’s seeing anyone else or if it was all true what he said but the disappointment of us ending has put me in a rut.

He was the first guy in a while I was excited about. Things were going so well at the beginning that I thought it seemed too good to be true. I had friends tell me “stop overthinking things, he’s into you.” Only for it to end the way I expected. I just feel like after all the disappointments I should just stop dating. I just can’t take another “Your person is out there, you gotta be patient. It will happen.” I just feel like I may not have a person. I’m 27 years old and I still feel like the chubby girl in high school who was never asked to a school dance.

Which is why I deleted all the apps and am no longer pursuing dating. Just focusing on myself. The thing is I feel like I’m always focusing on myself. I want to meet my person already. I have a good job, I’m financially independent, I have great friends and a supportive family. I have a lot to be grateful for but I want someone to experience this all with. I just feel like it will never happen for me. I’m the girl you love to fool around with but don’t want to be seen in public dating. It’s just hard.