Dating : To all the sad and lonely singles out there

Dating : To all the sad and lonely singles out there

Date and treat the f**k out of yourself, and do it often.

I too feel the void at times, especially now that it’s summer and I have more free time, but I’m filling it with things that make me happy.

I used to want to do so many first things with my eventual first SO, but I’m 21 going on 22 and I’m not going to put my life on hold.

While I’m waiting to meet that special guy I’m doing all the things I’d want to do with a partner.

Today I went strawberry picking with a friend and tonight I drove down by myself to a really cozy college town in my state. I’ve been craving this particular ice cream for several months and went to the parlor that makes the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

At first it felt a little strange and slightly sad, probably because the only other time I’ve been there was with a guy I used to date (no more feelings though because he was truly terrible but I’m glad I got a good ice cream spot out of it), but also because there were couples everywhere.

But that feeling didn’t last long. The weather was great, I found a nice seat outside, walked around after and then listened to one of my favorite podcasts on the drive back.

Being single doesn’t suck as much when you date yourself.

Plus I got to just spontaneous jump up and do whatever it was that I wanted to do and when I wanted. And there’s a lot of good and comfort in that freedom and flexibility.

Just thought I’d share because I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately about people who’ve never been in relationships and people having a hard time being single.

Edit: Thank you for all of your responses and for sharing your stories and advice and perspectives. I believe I read them all. Work has been busy so I haven’t really been on here much. I may try to respond to some. Ironically, in the time since I posted this and now I’ve met someone. I decided to dabble in online dating although I really don’t prefer it and I met someone. So far we click really well and he literally checks off every single character trait I’m looking for. It seems like once I became okay with being single and started to have fun while still keeping an eye open, I found someone. We’ll see how it goes!

Read also  Dating : I was monkey branched and I barely recovered.

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  1. I’m in my first relationship but before it was years and years craving another persons affection that I was becoming desperate. For about 2-3 years I did date myself and I think that made me help love myself a bit more and be more out going. So yes, I do think this posts would help a couple of people out there who was ever in the same boat!

  2. This is an attitude I can get behind. I’m on the journey to learning to be satisfied with a life alone and it’s taught me a lot. There’s a lot to be said for the freedom you have in « dating » yourself.

  3. That’s funny, I had this attitude a couple months ago and purchased myself a ticket to Kauai thinking fuck it, why wait for someone else I’ll just go solo. Then a month later I finally met the best girl ever and now I’m down here in Hawaii by myself while my new girlfriend is back home! But it’s totally worth it, I’m having a great time down here and the last couple months have been the best. Treat yoself!

  4. This x1000. There was a time I used to hate « me time » because I always wanted someone there with me. Now? I absolutely love it! I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery so to speak for the last 4 years and have found out so much about myself to the point that I’ve evolved so much personally, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.

    2 years ago, I took a day trip to the mountains alone and it was the most liberating feeling I’d had to be alone and at peace with myself and the quietness of nature. It’s pretty much a norm that I treat myself now. On my days off from work, I’m almost always at the park or the river and I take 2 Wednesdays a month to take myself to the movies.

    A lot of people loathe being alone but it’s so healthy and refreshing for yourself. The more you appreciate life to yourself, the more you’ll appreciate when you have someone to share it with

  5. Wow you just made my day, I’ve been called ugly by most of the girls I asked out or rejected, but I just think I didn’t build up enough confidence to do it right, cause my female friends told me that I’m kinda of attractive, which keeps me going, but now I left my school and now I’m home school I don’t have to deal with bullies and getting rejected, and every time I get rejected I feel sad and just don’t want to go to school any more, but some times I have been rejected by girls that where pretty nice to me, but still made me sad, but you have made my day even though I might not meet up with a girl until I’m in my 20s but you got my hopes up. Thank you, this is why I love Reddit

  6. Ive (26M) got a lot of crap and baggage on my plate from my past. Its been good to have these past 6 months off to tend to my own affairs. It does get lonely though but youre absolutely right  » Date and treat the f**k out of yourself » couldnt agree more.

    Still have alot to work through but I’m getting there, and then the next lady whoever she may be will make the mistake of falling for me and hopefully that time, itll be a long time.


    Regardless, LOVE the positivity, the optimism, everything.

    You’ll find your knight!!…..or queen. Who am i to judge???

  7. I took a three hour walk with my dog to a beach, had burgers and beer in the sunshine and thought this exact same thing. I need to do things that feel nice for me even though ideally I would have a date or girlfriend there. Treat yourself!

  8. Thanks for thi.! I have never been in a relationship and it gets lonely when the friends you hang out with daily are in relationships/having crushes when you arent. I’m trying to pick up new hobbies like playing instruments to keep myself busy this summer but it does get lonely a bit

  9. 21m Your message is warm and positive one, thanks sheding some light

    Pretty much the same situation. During dates i’ve found lots of intresting places to visit. Now every once in a while i go there. Like boardgame store, geek cafe etc..

    Thought these things in my country didn’t exist.

    Yeah seeing other couples just makes your brain kick ifself sometime. But when you occupy yourself with something for a bit than no prob

  10. This is so true! After ending my (f21) first relationship, i learned to value myself more and appreciate the things i have. I buy or pamper myself when i have an extra money to do so. I also discover many things about myself such as how i enjoy outdoor activities so much and now i am free to wear&do whatever i want. Loving and knowing yourself first is the key to be legit happy!

  11. A girl at 22 looking for « the one » is ahead of the curve and in a very strong position. You’re like the kid playing violin at 8.

  12. I’m a single 30 year old woman, and let me tell you, you’ve got the right attitude.

    Never wait for an SO to do things with. Many of us have this romantic notion of sharing most or every aspect of our lives with an SO. That works for some people, but not for all. And you should never put your life on hold for that reason.

    I moved for school and my career in my 20s, ending long term relationships in the process. It was hard at the time, but if I had refused to do those things just to stay with those men I would have been miserable and probably ended up single anyways, but way worse off financially and academically.

    I bought a house as a single woman when I was 26. I live alone still. Sometimes its lonely, but I have no regrets doing these things on my own. I manage the house, garden, clean, cook, etc. All by myself, all for myself. Sometimes I look at envy at everyone else I know who has a partner to work with, share things with, etc. I used to think that my life would be: school > boyfriend > career > marriage > buy house together > live happily ever after. I was wrong, and I’m happy I didn’t hold myself back thinking I had to wait for an SO.

    Plus, dating yourself is pretty fun. I’ll always miss the intimacy, that’s something I can’t replace by myself. But being single and being able to do what I want, when I want, has been great. You gotta love yourself first before you find someone to love and love you back anyways.

  13. If you want a guy. Instead of waiting for him. Why don’t you actively go out and find him. Esp, as a woman, this will work out very well.

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