Dating : Topic: Rejecting / being rejected
Okay, so I want to get some feedback on this because I hate how people have rejected me in the past and I am currently in a situation where I rejected someone.
Okay, so in the past, I have been ghosted which sucks. A couple of people have said something like « hey, I’m really busy right now with life and I am flattered that you would ask me out but I just can’t think about dating right now »
The second one wasn’t bad, I understood and tried to hang out with them more as friends but what SUCKED was when they got into a relationship shortly after telling me this. The problem with this method is that you are giving them hope for a future time that you may be available or leading them on, it also sucks because when you get into a relationship they can get upset with you because you weren’t too busy to get in a relationship with THAT person. This leaves you to have so many questions, do they not like me? Were they really just busy?
I have always been on the side of getting rejected rather than rejecting which leads me to my part. I got asked out to coffee to get to know a girl better over facebook messenger. First off, terrible way to ask someone out IMO but that’s beside the point. I’ve only talked to this girl maybe twice in my life and it was so random. Secondly, I am not attracted to her and even though she’s a nice girl, I don’t want her to think I like her but I also don’t want to be a jerk.
Instead of giving her hope by saying, hey I’m busy right now sorry, I told her I appreciated that she asked me but was simply not interested. I apologized and again thanked her for asking me.
Is this a douche move? I feel like being upfront and honest sure, hurts at first but in the end, she won’t be led on and won’t have questions later on because I stopped it right away.
What are your thoughts?