Dating : Unhappy

Dating : Unhappy

Hi, I’m 25m and my gf is 20F. I’m just not happy in this relationship and I wish it was different but I love her and I’m scared to be alone. I like to think I’m pretty emotionally responsible. I wouldn’t say super emotionally healthy but good at not projecting it or becoming codependent. My girlfriend is quite codependent relying on me for rides and to help with other responsibilities. I suppose I am a bit too, mainly emotionally since she’s the only one I really talk at length to. I feel like she just doesn’t care about me that much and she doesn’t want to bring much to the table. We live together with my dad at his house and I do most of the cleaning, cooking and miscellaneous home making. I don’t make a lot of money but I also have income to support myself despite not currently having a job, and I was employed for two years at a position up until recently. She works and helps financially but she doesn’t do much around the house and will just lay down and watch me work. She doesn’t seem to care about much at all and some days doesn’t even bathe. I know she has depression and I’ve been there for her but at times it’s very difficult for me too and I don’t feel like I can count on her to help keep the house in order, plus she almost never cooks anything for me not even microwave food or waffles. Sexually things are not great either, she doesn’t put much effort into trying to excite me and gives up on making me orgasm sometimes. I do a lot in the bedroom honestly because I’m scared of not being good enough and also because it makes me feel good to be able to pleasure a woman. She’s had the depo shot and now her vagina has a constant bloody taste to it but I still eat her out and I’m the only one who ever tries to experiment. She recently mentioned thinking she might be asexual and says she just doesn’t think of sex as often as most people. On top of all this our relationship has a rather strange start. She was dating a shitty friend of mine and through him we started getting closer and became best friends. He was an abusive piece of shit to her and I was there for her the whole time, though simultaneously we were flirting and she was gaining feelings for me. This situation escalated into her wanting to spend time with me romantically (their relationship was technically open) him bring a jealous manipulative person throughout The process and at some point, us having a foursome then a threesome and me being her second boyfriend. Eventually she broke up with him. I know it’s a story sponsored by red flag incorporated but we’re both messed up people and she was the only person I felt this kind of connection with. I didn’t really want to have the threesome but everyone else involved did and I felt weird being the wet blanket but I didn’t enjoy it and it kind of hurt the way I looked at her. After that she cheated on me one night about a week or two into our relationship and said she forgot that I was more than just a friend. I let her move in after that partially because I was scared to lose her after everything and partially because I didn’t want to be alone in this house anymore and partially because her only option left was staying at her dads which she would like to avoid because reasons. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t feel like this relationship could ever be the picturesque thing sold to us by hallmark cards and I don’t feel like I can ever really trust her or love her in the normal capacity, and she doesn’t make any effort to make it better or to thrill me. It’s hard as a man to feel like I deserve to ask for more in a relationship, popular media generally has us believing the cliche of a woman giving so much to a man who doesn’t appreciate her it makes it difficult for me to not feel like an asshole for being unhappy when I’m not sexually satisfied, made to feel emotionally important, or given much assistance with the day to day toil. I’m scared I might be missing how much she actually cares and I might be ignorant to what she does for me and/or I might come off as entitled, but I’m just unhappy and I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong and it hurts feeling like no one will ever care about pleasuring me or making me happy. Should I break up with her? Should I convince her to let me sleep with other women? Should I demand that she takes me on dates and gets dolled up for me? (I just realized that I did not mention the many dates surprises and romantic gestures big and little that I’ve done to make her feel special and loved, things she told me no one has ever done for her, I always remember the snacks she likes, the books that makes her happy, what’s stressing her out, I give her massages and make mini spa days for her, I make edibles, fancy ones like candy and cheesecakes for her, I’ve wrote her love letters, bought her new shoes that were upgraded versions of the worn out ones she loved, took her on a daycation to a hotel, and regular date nights and romance). I just don’t feel good trying to make someone care about me if they don’t want to. It makes me feel pathetic and desperate to beg someone to care about me. I know this is probably my fault for investing in something that never showed much sign of giving back, but she’s basically the only person I like and I feel like I fucking hate her, because she doesn’t care about me and hurt me. What do I do?