Dating : Want to start dating but I’m gross and terrified
I’m 22 girl, never dated. I feel like I’m not ugly, but definitely chubby (5”1 and 73kg) I have acne, and scars on my arms from anxiety and scratching at my skin. I also have tinea versicolor on my stomach and PTSD.
When I list it all out, it sounds like a lot. In person, I’m quirky (I think) funny, cute. But I feel people would think I’m too disgusting or messed up to date.
Anyone ever felt the same and managed to push through? I want to start date but I’m terrified
Im not saying your bad, but ive seen bad looking people pull dates, most of their dates be acceptable also. Their #1 weapon was confidence. In their head, they were the best looking person, and nobody could tell them otherwise, and others can pick up on that energy.
Pamper yourself, do your hair up, clay mask, and flaunt what you got as if youre vajayjay was a pot of gold and any man who gets it would be the luckiest man/ or woman.
> But I feel people would think I’m too disgusting or messed up to date.
those that do think like that are not worth your time
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Be yourself and don’t settle. The dating road is hard and will have a lot of potholes. You’re new at it and will make mistakes, we were all there at somepoint.
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Don’t expect to find ‘The One’ the first time. Ahead of time, decide what your limitations are on physical contact and stick to it.
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Not every date is going to go well. Be ready for that. Some will bomb. That guy you have a crush on will not return the same feelings. Its all normal.
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Good luck and get out there! Its not easy but you can do it!
Before you date make sure you love yourself.. I myself (M25) was plagued with acne.. started going to the gym for a little self confidence and I’ve been dating ever since.. dating is good fun just make sure you have the inner confidence to go for it and not second guess yourself at every decision
Don’t focus on your flaws ! Everyone has scars in one form of another and no one is perfect. Not all guys like stick thin girls either. Chubby, curvy, thick, fat whatever. Just like all girls don’t like super buff dudes. Will everyone like you ? No. But I bet more people will then what you think, the only way to find out who does is to put yourself out there and find someone worthy of time.
I would start a dating yourself first. Cliche as that may sound
Lots of people have something about them that they are self conscious of.
But you have to not think about that when you are out there dating.
An example is people with one or two bad teeth. The reality is, people have already seen this and they don’t care, but the person maybe he constantly thinking that it’s something people will stare at him for.
So just forget those things and try to go find somebody who will be okay with that.
Here’s the problem: dating involves inevitable rejection because it’s part of the process. However, this rejection could be for a lot of reasons. The problem with how you think of yourself is that you’re always going to be blaming this rejection on the things you listed, which will take a toll on you and will make dating miserable. Your mindset is not allowing you to see others in a way that will let you objectively decide whether *they* are right for you. I think you could do well with some therapy (if you’re not already going) so that you can work on how you see yourself.
I had tinea versicolor too, and acne. I’ve come to realize it’s not as noticeable as I think it is. I’ve gone on dates with people who had acne or acne scars and they were still really attractive to me.
Dont be this person and you should be ok http://imgur.com/gallery/aQOg1Oc
I’m not handsome either, but I’ve had a girls say I’m attractive. It’s mostly about confidence, to be honest. As long as you feel good in your skin and don’t feel the need for other’s approval, you’ll be attractive. The second important aspect in being attractive is character. That is, being funny and interesting. Having social skills. Basically, I think that to be attractive, you have to be confident and good with people
You sound like me aside from tinea, and I’m 21 and female. But I’m a lesbian and cant find anyone so that probably wouldnt help in your case.
Well start going to the gym
No where near it dude. Not even close all that you think is wrong or might be wrong wont and will not matter to the right person
When I list out all of my negatives, I also sound like a real mess. It’s easy to list what’s wrong with ourselves.
I thought I had zero masculine energy, like I was a bearded child. My girlfriend makes me feel like a stud. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take steps to love yourself, but trust me, the gratification you get from your first partner changes you in extreme ways. So that’s something to fight for 🙂
Speak positively about yourself. Change your internal narrative. It takes time but whenever you are thinking negative thoughts about yourself or your appearance stop yourself and remind yourself of all the great things about yourself.