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Dating : What am I missing? This doesn’t make sense to me.

Dating : What am I missing? This doesn’t make sense to me.


I’ve been hanging out with a girl for about a month now and we spend hours each day either hanging out or talking on the phone. When we’re not around each other, we miss each other. She has told me that she finds me attractive and we’ve had sex. I have told her all my insecurities and she has been very reassuring about how they’re all in my head (with solid reasoning).

Still, she recently told me that she doesn’t feel that « extra thing » between us that she’s felt with other men in the past. She has assured me that it’s not because of anything about me, but literally just that missing thing. I’ve always thought that « extra thing » is the connection, which we seem to have very much of. I believe what I’m actually missing is confidence, and it doesn’t help that I’ve told her all about how I lack it. (To be clear, we’ve been extremely honest about our emotions with each other and have been bettering each other every moment we’re together, that’s how that came up.)

Things are further complicated by the fact that I have been in a position before where I was rejected, only for the girl to catch feelings months later after I’ve moved on. I really don’t want that to happen here.

So where do I go from here? Should I stop talking to her altogether? Should I keep hanging out with her hoping she’ll catch feelings one day?

What do you think?

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