Dating : What Do Girls on Tinder Actually Want?
This is one that confuses me, and maybe guys do it too, I wouldn’t know. Whats with this business of girls on tinder matching and then ghosting? I’m mostly just there to meet new people, I’m not in a hurry to hook-up or anything. So I tend to make jokes, or do simple greetings (I don’t do pick up lines, ever.) And about 50% of them never respond, unmatch, or anything.
I don’t get it, why do you swipe right if you don’t even want to chat? I’m assuming it’s just for cheap attention, but that’s pretty sad. Am I supposed to be aggressively sexual or something?
If youd ever seen an attractive girl use tinder you would know why, every single swipe right is a match so if you dont stand out you will be buried in no time. And yes some* girls use it as a confidence boost.
Women can get a lot of matches and don’t have the time to respond to everyone. So if you’ve matched with them and you just open with « hey, how’s your day? » (like the majority of guys) while someone else wrote something interesting or relevant to her interests/pictures, that other person is understandably where her energy and time is going.
From previous and present experiences, I usually look for a guy who can hold a conversation and seems interested in getting to know me especially from a simple bio and only 6 to 7 pictures. Opening up with a generic greeting or question like Hey, or what’s up, isn’t going to go very far. Just like you, I’m hoping to meet new people, and have it lead to a good date.
I don’t understand this perspective that women on tinder are getting 100s of matches and messages and you have to stand out. Maybe I’m picky… ok, I get a lot of matches, but in my (and other female friends) experience, not many people message. Are they intimidated by the imaginary hotter guys we are currently engaged with?? And why don’t they answer our messages?
The only time I don’t reply is if like 4 people happen to message in a row and it becomes too many conversations to keep up with. At that point, yeah. You gotta be more interesting than the others, but regardless if we’ve been chatting longer than a day and it’s boring I’m probably going to stop until either you or I have something more interesting to say. I’ll definitely follow up if I do, but we’ve legit just been talking for a day or two… I am not yet invested or ready to gab about everything with you, a complete stranger. Do you know how often guys stop talking to girls because they feel like they talk too much? We have to meet this really specific expectation for communication that is impossible to know, otherwise we are « crazy. »
Just sayin… there could be a lot going into it. Don’t give up, someone out there will love all your jokes and that you’re NOT aggressively sexual.
A Tinder-using-female talking here and I’m telling you there are two types of girls: the ones that use tinder actively and the ones that use it passively.
By « Passively » I mean the girls who just want a boost in confidence and want to check their « market value ». So yeah, lots of girls just want to know if they are pretty enough or not and they count every single match, you will get extra points if you matched someone handsome…
They act all high and mighty because mostly they finally have the feeling of being desired. I will tell you how this works, I’m adecent looking Female, 24 years old myself with 99+ match rate BUT in real life, no one would ever notice me or talk to me or hah asking me out on a date. Don’t worry though, I definitely don’t act all high and mighty or like a spoiled brat because manners matter to me very much. Nevertheless, yeah that ghosting thing just happens because the app works as a barrier, where we can basically behave as we please without having to think about consequences we would normally have in real life. (I NEVER do this, but I understand how this works because a friend of mine was working on her bachelor thesis and this is her topic, so yeah… It’s really shallow the whole oine dating thing)
They want different things, you should ask them individually ! Some people want hookups, others are looking for love
lotta guys just don’t make effort. conversation dies, and nobody’s willing to be vulnerable. so they stick to superficial topics until the light flickers out. granted, talking on an app with near zero information of the other person is not a great breeding ground for opportunities to open up. but genuinely trying to explore the others interests and being patient and polite will pay off (for decent females).
i truly believe if conversation is flowing, there’s no reason to ghost. if they do, that’s some problem they have on their part, and has nothing to do with you. (met someone else, avoidant when they know someones interested, faking it, ego boost, etc. these are mostly character flaws)
i usually ghost if a guy is not listening to what im saying. like glosses over questions i ask him, asks for a date RIGHT off the bat, or if i can tell he just couldn’t give less of a shit about me or the date. like im the one initiating things and getting things rolling.
They are talking to more than one guy at once.
Use hinge, it’s way better than tinder for men. The odds are more in your favor.
It’s cheap attention like you said. That’s why you have to remain detached to any match. Keep messages short (but not low-effort), move to getting her number within a day or two and then arrange a date a day or two after that.
Chad and $$$. Preferably both if they can get it from one guy.