Dating : What Do You Think About Getting Married Early?
Hey everyone,
I was recently watching a video that really got me thinking about some major issues people face in relationships. My conclusion was that in opposition to popular modern wisdom that it is better to get married when you’re older, it is actually much better to get married when you are younger.
Getting married at 18-24 is a time that you are most surrounded by many people around your age and are able to really find someone in a large pool of people. Compare this to when you are older and working full time, it is much more difficult to find a diverse number of people to find your match. To add to this, it is fairly common for people who don’t wish to marry that early to be more focused on their careers. While that isn’t a bad thing, it shows that their priorities lie with their careers and not in love and family. Finally, many other factors plague the dating pool when you have a good stable job 26+ and are going up in age mid to late 30s and early 40s. Those are that you might feel like you are running out of time or there are those who will marry for money if someone has a good income. If someone says things like I’m running out of time, they are probably looking to settle and that is never a good thing. The money thing is self explanatory. These are all terrible reasons to get married.
While the relationships started in early years are not based off of age or money, it is built on a strong foundation of true love. A relationship started later could be built on a foundation of anything really. I do get that once you are older you have some experiences that might help in the relationship, while those who start young will need to grow together without growing apart and learn all those thing along the way, but in the end love will push them through that. Marrying someone for the wrong reasons or with priorities that don’t align with married life will rarely result in success and true love no matter the experience you have with relationships.
I realized this has been true for the people around me. Those whose marriages has failed or led to divorce or those who are in loveless marriages are ones that married later while the very successful happy marriages are those that married early.
Of course these are generalizations but being loved for you is what we all are looking for and that is something you can be sure of if you find your partner in the early years. Love should conquer all trials and tribulations you might face from marrying early.
Don’t be afraid to fall in love and marry early folks. Always follow your heart and don’t let anyone dictate what you think is the right thing to do for your life.
What are your thoughts on this? Agree or disagree, I would love to hear your thoughts.
It worked out great for me. I was still young enough to enjoy the rest of my life when everything crashed and burned.
I got married at 24, had kids at 26 and divorced at 33 (she cheated). I knew the person for ~20 years (friends 5, dated 5, married a little over 9).
I don’t see any problems with marrying early or later. I think it’s easier to date and find the « better » partner for you while you’re in school and before most people marry but you would be mistakened if you thought love is all you need to get the marriage to flourish. If you marry later, I think you’d have a better understanding of what you want/don’t want and are a bit more stable in career/life but you would have to be careful in being too logical about it – sometimes you have to take risks or leaps of faith or act on some emotion/instinct.
There are challenges regardless of what age you get into a relationship or get married – just know that relationships and marriage take constant effort – you have to constantly work on it and not be complacent or take it for granted.
I met someone at 19. By 25, we weren’t compatible anymore and broke up. I’m glad I didn’t marry young, because I would be divorced now. I changed a lot as a person between 20-25. We never would have worked in the long run. I’m also hesitant to marry someone I haven’t been with for 5 years.
In contrast to your experience ( » Those whose marriages has failed or led to divorce or those who are in loveless marriages are ones that married later while the very successful happy marriages are those that married early »), most of the people I know who married early (parents, one set of grandparents, sister, aunt) are all divorced.
I’m too old now to get married early at this point, but I’m really glad I didn’t.
Smartest thing that you can do.
It saves a *lot* of time and energy instead of dating
It makes it really, really easy to save money. Automatic roommate, buy groceries, etc.
It gives you a *lot* of flexiblity. You can live in shitty, cheap places and take isolating jobs because you know that you have someone around.
It gives you a lot of respect which you can leverage into various opportunities
I think its a bad idea.
getting married sooner when you’re 30+ makes more sense because you’re already (or should be, technically) have had past experiences/relationships that solidify what you want in a life partner. Most people at that age know by that time. Your personality is also stabilized, as is your finances, job etc.
However when you’re under 26, your brain isn’t even fully matured. So you go through a lot of internal changes. Long lasting doesn’t necessarily come through in that range.
So I’m about to be 21, and I have a few acquaintances from high school that are getting married to each other right now. While I think that if they’re genuinely in love and cannot see themselves with anyone else for the rest of their lives, all power to them.
My personal bias with getting married early is simply that I am not the person who I was when I was 18. While I know older people will think “wow, a whole three years!”, I went through college during that time. And while I know a lot people aren’t lucky enough to go to college, I feel like that time span OP noted (18-24) is where a lot of people are starting to find themselves. I still don’t completely know who I am yet, and I feel like it wouldn’t be the best decision for me to tie myself down with someone who I could end up disliking in a few years because my interests were different.
Why would you ever get married? There’s no benefit whatsoever.
Nothing wrong with it, heck millenial and genz have the higher success rate of ‘early’ marriages compared to boomers and gen x. And higher rate of first/only marriages lasting longer over all too 😉 if its for you do it if it aint dont