Dating : What was the main reason behind your decision to quit dating apps like Tinder & Bumble?
As a guy who’s currently in college, I decided to take a long hiatus from Tinder, Bumble, etc. Now, I’m not sure if I’ll ever download them again, but outside of not having much success in the dating world, I was looking for potential relationships rather than hooking up with random girls. Furthermore, friendships developed from Tinder or Bumble are still fine by me.
However, despite the common stereotypes about these dating apps, I never tried online dating before, like Match.com, eHarmony, OkCupid, & POF. Maybe I’d have more success if I used these sites instead of Tinder? Or what about asking someone in person for their number after talking to them at a bar, club, or party in order to make future plans with them?
On an extra note, I’m assuming the main reasons include catfishing & being lied to.
95% of Men: I can’t seem to get matches! I really just want to meet women so I can find someone to eventually settle down and start a family with. why is this so hard? why am I not even being picked for a date?? I just want a relationship, is that so hard?
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95% of Women: Why did this guy ghost? we went out for a month and he just dissapeared. I’m getting feelings for my FWB. This guy SWEPT ME OFF MY FEET, and he just left. I swear ALL MEN just want to HOOK UP. where are the ones that want relationships? men suck. they just want sex. or they just play me.
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95% of men: SERIOUSLY! you say men are only after sex, hook ups, leave you, but you never give most men that actually want a relatioship a chance, like me. All women just shoot after the top guys
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top 5% of men: MAN ONLINE DATING IS THE FUCKING LOTTERY. so many women to choose from. thank god I was born 6’2″, with this chiseled body and my natural charm. its like shooting fish in a barrel. I banged 4 women this week. one keep coming back to me for more but I told her she’s kicked off my rotation list because she got too clingly for wanted a relationship. I cant believe all these chumps that keep messaging them all these lovey lovey messages when I’m getting all the action
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THIS IS WHY I QUIT ONLINE DATING.
I tried Bumble, Hinge, CMB, OkCupid, and eHarmony off and on for about 2 years. Like you, I was looking for a relationship. I’m 24F.
I quit because of the rudeness and general lack self awareness and basic decency displayed both on the app and on several dates I went on. Several guys were late for dates, asked very personal questions on the first date while in crowded settings, and one guy even showed up dirty without showering. I’m not asking for a suit and flowers, but come on!
Not every guy I spoke to was rude, and I was even interested in one of them, but when I got a mean message (which was more frequent that I would have initially thought), it would really hit me hard because I was looking for something serious while others were treating it as a joke.
I was also spending increasingly more time swiping and responding to messages while losing interest in dating overall.
I deleted all apps a few months ago and have no interest in using them again. I’m going to meetups instead and leaving it up to fate.
Well for starters being on apps is a self esteem killer.
I quit everything because from my experience they’re pointless for a man if you’re not some combo of tall, white, and/or handsome. If you’re zero for three on that list you can spend hundreds of hours taking and selecting pictures, reading profiles, sending messages, and have nothing at all to show for it.
I got one date in 2 years of online dating and I’m a highly successful professional with a very well liked personality IRL.
Dating has become near impossible for certain classes of men and unfortunately I am part of that class.
I don’t quit tinder or bumble unless I’m in a relationship since I see them as hookup apps and I’m still a human who enjoys having sex regardless of my relationship status.
I think the main issue with a lot of these sites have this problem that for most people (at least that’s what i believe), me included, have a lower bar for people they’ll hookup while having a higher bar for the people they’ll date. Both sides keep things ambiguous because as soon as one admits they only dating to hookup or only dating for a serious relationship, so people would rather hold on to the idea that the other person wants the same thing rather then just being honest.
All those sites work the same. Women prefer to swipe right on the guys who are at least an 8. Doesn’t matter if you have a good bio. This is why no longer use dating apps.
I had 0 expectations of girls wanting to talk to me. I am definitely not the handsome tall guy otherwise I would have had more female attention in my irl.
However I manage really well with openers. Honestly 1/4th of my openers have made the other person decide to like me. Sometimes I just say something really clever. Other times it’s just incoherent rambling about how their profile reminds me of something. Generally not being a creep or giving a boring message works enough. The only problem is that as soon as the initial like wears off it’s either a struggle talking to them or they don’t reply anymore.
I don’t blame them. I liked them before they liked me. I’m not their initial choice. If it was the other way around conversation would probably lead to more. However talking to connections is a good way to practise what general talking skills. What works as a subject, what doesn’t work? How does a convo gets killed fast.
Sometimes if they never replied after their like I’ll just ask what’s up why aren’t they answering. Changed their minds or just never got into it? That usually gives me info on what’s happening and I move from there.
If you don’t take it serious until the moment it gets serious, you can enjoy the succeses that you have. Eventually the fun ends because it’s all samey samey or you find someone serious. That’s what I’m hoping for before I quit. But I’m giving it a few more months before I stop the olds.
Apps took up too much space on my phone and was messing up my porn.
Hey! I’m a female in college and I’ve actually never been on dating apps mostly because no one on there is looking for anything serious, both men and women. My friends show me guys on Tinder that they talk to for weeks with zero intention of ever meeting them. Tinder is designed to be like a game and I guess the hopeless romantic that I am, I don’t want to play games. It’s the scarcity culture we live in, never satisfied and always looking for something/someone better. Personally I love meeting people out in the wild, mostly from class and mutual friends. Best of luck!