Dating : Whether you get sex as a man has nothing to do with it you’re a good person. Women’s sex drives do not define who is or isn’t a good man.
There is a certain population of men and women who like to mock and put down any guy who isn’t getting sex or dates. They imply if no women want such a man, then he must be either a monster or a loser.
Loads of women will fuck and lust over worthless criminals like Jeremy Meeks. Does the fact that Jeremy Meeks can get laid make him a good person? No. He’s a degenerate who has contributed nothing of value to this world besides being born as a tall mulatto with a good looking face.
On the other hand, there are loads of men who actually are good people and contribute to the world meaningfully yet can’t get dates/sex because they’re just not good looking enough or maybe they have anxiety/depression/autism.
These guys get attacked from all sides. They get called « nice guys, » are told they are deep down monsters and only act nice because they are manipulative, get called betas, soys, c.ucks, i.n.cels.
As far as I can see it, the only way to not get attacked if you are one of these men is to just say, « I’m totally fine with the fact that women don’t find me attractive. » Anything else and someone will attack you in one of the ways listed above.
Since when did we as a culture decide that the female sex drive was so incredible and virtuous that it should decide whether or not a man is a good person?
We recently learned 66% of male university students are celibate despite most wishing they could have sex/dating/romance. If you looked at the small 34% of university men who are having sex, what do you think you would find? What would the race mostly be? What would their height mostly be? What would their looks and physique mostly be? What would their personality mostly be?
What is virtue for a man? Is virtue Jeremy Meeks? Or is it something else? Do we really believe those 66% of men are not virtuous? Or that Jeremy Meeks has more virtue than most of them?
No one does the same thing with the male sex drive. No one tells women who can’t get dates (if any exist) that they are horrible people because of it.
So why do people tell men who can’t get laid they are automatically the worse of society?
Can we agree to stop this nonsense now?
Hello, Based Department?
Pretty based post OP.
Alot of good points however at some point, for some men a life of celibacy is basically going to happen as
We’re living in times were relationships, dating is basically a declining norm. Online dating is basically a cluster fu… Ordeal
The only men getting laid either are lucky, rich or paying for it cause going without sex for years basically normal for some including myself, trying to deal with women in the USA is like trying to find the exclusive big foot.
Do I mind nope, cause unfortunately living in the USA and being accused of any ordeals including false accusations leads to having women accuse you of rape other areas to get you fired, in jail or killed.
I’m confused as to what sex has to do with someone being considered a good person or not. What does one have to do with the other? Are you entitled to sex with a beautiful woman just because you are a good virtuous man?
It’s just instinctual biology programmed into us through our genes. A « fit » individual with regards to ecology is one with traits that allows that individual to mate successfully or easily. That’s the actual definition. We will never stop seeing sexually successful people as superior to forever alones such as myself. I accepted this fact and it helps me cope.
I don’t think that people say that about men who don’t have sex, i think you are just projecting your insecuritys. Also are you saying that nice guys (guys who think basic human decency should be enough for them to have sex) don’t exist? Because i have definitely seen those guys. But i do agree that obviously being a good person has nothing to do with how much sex one has.
>These guys get attacked from all sides. They get called « nice guys, » are told they are deep down monsters and only act nice because they are manipulative, get called betas, soys, c.ucks, i.n.cels.
I always love seeing the hoops some people will jump through to justify them looking down on what is essentially 66% (most!) of guys.
I think they do this because the alternative is to hard to accept. The idea that many of these guys are unsuccesful despite not having any of these glaring flaws you describe is just to hard to deal with. Because that means that many of those who are succesful just were lucky. So we collectively pretend that 66% of guys are all secretly sick, misogynist, slackjawed, freaks who deserve to be mocked.
Ironically you can see some parallels with how poor people are treated in the USA. The truth that most of these people did everything right, yet still are poor, is too hard to come to terms with. That would mean the current system is unfair. So the American Right pretends that everyone who is poor is a bumbling drunk buffoon who is only poor because they are lazy failures.
As a non-american it is pretty glaring to see this « pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps » so pervasive throughout public dialogue of any kind. As it deflects all criticism of the systems back towards the individual.
The guys who come to these forums and talk about their lack of sex lives very often have a chip on their shoulder. That’s what people are responding to.
No one ever said they’re bad people, but when men act out because of lack of intimacy and sex based on them not being « good looking », they become really scary, and then get labeled because we as a society need to put a label on absolutely everything. If a guy who can’t get laid/relationship lives his life like a normal person and doesn’t spew hateful things online, I don’t think anyone would call him a bad person. I think you’re conflating those two things when they’re miles apart. No, men who can’t get women are NOT bad people at all, but no one likes an asshole. That’s what they become when they stew and grow bitter over their lack of success with women. I actually really feel for these guys because it IS so unfair. We live in a looks obsessed world, so it’s not surprising that we all become shallow.
I’m here thinking that your argument can have merit, but you do exactly what you complain about: negatively generalizing a group, which is specifically against the rules of this subreddit. “Women have superficial sex drives that *only* select men based on a few basic physical traits”.
I’ve *never* heard someone, except incels who call themselves subhuman, say that getting sex is a sign of a good person. Your use of “imply” would *imply* to me that they have never said such on here. In fact, I bet they’d agree that sex does not mean quality, since rapists take for it and players fake for it. On that same note, I also agree with the claim that there are good men who can’t get romantic/sexual relationships.
However, you assume that it’s these good guys being attacked. I don’t like descriptions that are meant to hurt, but there are accurate labels, legitimately people (men and women alike) who manipulate and also those who have no introspection, so, when a anyone sees through their bullshit, they continue to blame everyone else. I literally heard a dude say others were controlling him because they wouldn’t do what he said. He’s not uncommon.
Perhaps the reason why that phrase excuses people who vent is because they are not shaming people for something not inherently evil. Culture would mean at least half of people and, once more, never heard anyone but incels make that claim.
As to your questions, depends on who goes to that university. Also, racism started as a physical oversimplification of the *actual* cultures of peoples and became an egotistical outlet of stupid, hateful people—find out their culture first before you envy their skin color. On that note, women generally look for men who are ~1.1x taller, which is also the general difference between the genders in every country except Azerbaijan, East Timor, The Gambia, Liberia and Nigeria, and even still the men in general were still taller; it would be more curious if women dated men 1.03x their height or shorter because they are so uncommon, especially where the difference is usually 1.09 (like in the U.S.).
As far as looks and physique, anyone who denies this is lying or ignorantly projecting their ideals onto the rest of the world, but, again, never heard anyone say that ugly people have it as easy as good-looking people. If anything, they are saying that ugliness doesn’t mean you have no chance and that there are more important things that are sought.
I’m genuinely surprised you asked about their personality, but apparently there are those who think this means being aware of pop culture or having a persona (literally the mask they present to others). People often misunderstand what others mean or even ignore it. What do you see as personality?
Virtues are numerous and people weigh them differently, but never heard someone say that 66% of men have none nor that women in general (or even half of them) would say that Meeks has more. Can you prove that most people believe celibate people are the worst? If 66% of men and 53% of women are celibate, that sounds like a self-hating population.
Women have a biological advantage which grants them the provilege of selecting who gets to procreate, that is childbirth. They will always have this and deserve to be worshipped for it, but only if they are humble. A proud woman is tyrannical.
Society is allowing women to be irresponsible in this way right now, in the name of « women’s rights, » which yes I agree women should be equal to men, and they have had it bad in the past, but that fact is they are not happy with the current situation either, and having them become so much more like men to the point of replacing them is not working, even if some glorify it. Just look around, we have the highest levels of depression and anxiety right now. There is a reason there is a rise in socialism, women can’t find decent men and are looking to the state to be the new father figure. But this will only end up making things worse, government patriarchy will always be tyrannical, and only a nuclear father has the possibility of being a just patriarch. Governments are a convenience and augmentation of family effort. If the families are broken, so is the government.
Even us men aren’t acting perfectly right now, in fact we are weak. We are allowing society to put us down, call us toxic, and we are rolling over and taking it. We have to stand up and become stronger, we have to provide something better and worthy of respect before any woman will choose us. I don’t mean being a billionare, even Bezos got divorced. Bezos is a tyrannical king of his company. We need to be a just king, and only then can we attract a just queen.
Patriarchy and Matriarchy should always be in equilibrium, there is no stable system in which one is dominant. Therefore, we need to become the just patriarch instead of simply complaining. Women are chaos, men are order. The women are driving for some kind of change right now, allow it to transform you into something better, but don’t allow it to desroy you either, there is a certain amount of pushing back, which you are leaning into a bit too hard right now. Ease up just a bit and discover true strength and manlihood.
OP damn dude, what did Jeremey Meeks do to you? For a lot of women, attraction is not solely based on appearance. There are other factors like hygiene, how you treat them and other people, confidence, etc. Also, no one uses the term mulatto anymore.
Well, of course sexuality does not define a persons worth as a human being. Nor should it.
But on the other hand we all have the biological drive to procreate and sustain our species into the future. It can be argued that this is the prime objective of life on a macro level. However, life is setup in the way that never all members of a species will procreate.
There is probably something deep inside our psyche that tells us that if we cannot procreate we are not directly contributing to that objective. It does not mean these people are failures to society though because even if your DNA exits the gene pool you still contribute at the macro level by (usually) creating more resources than you consume, thus supporting society overall. Which is honorable in itself.
>So why do people tell men who can’t get laid they are automatically the worse of society?
who tells that? i never read that somewhere.
I kinda understand…at the same time i don’t.
Ive asked out at least less than 20 grils from 8th grade up to 12th. I got out of school in 2014 Ive tried like 3 times since so 2016, 2019 and 2020? But sex was never on my mind i just want a real relationship or am i just that naive especially since i dont really try to find a relationship. some strangers have told my im handsome I’ve never once in my life claimed to be a “nice guy” and im not a complete asshole. so where do i fit in with these statistics because if i did have sex it would be someone im certain i would want to have a kid with and im honestly not sure at all because how my life has been its been pretty sheltered. but dont get me wrong im not some sort of saint either…
Usually women also like really funny and confident guys. And guys who respect women. I think if you aren’t having good luck based on your looks you gotta work on yourself by getting in the best shape you can, going to therapy to help with confidence. And being lighthearted/funny when talking to women. And if you feel you aren’t attractive enough to get the girls you want maybe you should go for less attractive girls? Have you tried hitting on girls who aren’t considering conventionally attractive?
Having confidence/self love is the most important thing in dating because most people will face a lot of rejection. So you have to just pick yourself up and keep trying over and over until someone likes you! Or just focus on yourself and become the best version of you then you’re way more likely to attract the person you want. ✌️