Dating : Why do people say you need to flirt or turn the conversational sexual to get a woman interested? This is completely not my experience.

Dating : Why do people say you need to flirt or turn the conversational sexual to get a woman interested? This is completely not my experience.

In multiple places I’ve seen online, it’s said that you need to flirt or turn the conversational sexual to get a woman interested in you. I don’t buy this argument because there have been quite a few instances where I have been talking to women about completely non-sexual topics and there is no flirting going on and I have displayed absolutely zero sexual interest, but where they end up then asking me out on a date at a later point or showing interest in some other way. I believe the reason is that I felt a connection with these people that was mutual after a certain amount of conversation. It seems to me that this is all that is required.

However, I don’t draw on a lot of experience because I rarely talk to women (as I am terrible at starting conversations and women I don’t know pretty much never start a conversation with me, presumably because I am physically unattractive).

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What do you think?

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  1. Treat people how you’d like to be treated. Women are people too and want friends too. Just because you’re talking with a member of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that it has to lead anywhere sexual or of that matter.

  2. I think as long as you’re indicating in some way that you have a higher level of interest in her than you do other girls, then mission accomplished. Flirt if it feels comfortable for you, but having extended deep conversation can feel equally, if not more, intimate. As a girl I prefer the latter – usually guys who are overtly sexual or flirty are just showing off their confidence, and it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a connection there. Sure it’s an expedient way to communicate you’re down for getting laid tonight, but dating potential/relationship still requires figuring out if there’s actually a connection there.

  3. If a guy turns the convo sexual soon it’s a red flag for me. Unless we’ve had sex or we’re talking about logistics of having it in the future. But flirting could be light teasing or something else funny. But yeah, talking about Sex soon is not cool or flirting to me.

  4. Just depends on how long you’re talking to someone…NO, being sexual too early will probably turn them off…you will probably come off as creepy. Flirting is okay…even early on.

    Escalating the talks sexually can come after you’ve gone out on a date or two…and after couple weeks.

  5. This depends on the person, ive spoken to women who just end up with « ok » and « lol » answers both ore clear indicators if no interest…. so how you talk and whether they like you is very dependent on the person, ive yet to see one woman interested in me. At my age (over 45) it will now never happen.

  6. I hate it when men take the conversation via text sexual. I have had very few boyfriends but the few I became attracted to enough to get to know don’t take conversations sexual until we have had sex.

  7. Women gravitate to a fun flirting. Don’t be a weirdo. Just be the best version of confident you and add a little playful banter. Don’t be a weirdo

  8. For the relationship to move to the next level, *someone* has to. As someone who is bad at this, and usually too shy to really « make a move » unless I’m sure that’s what the other person wants, when I get a date I often run into the problem of waiting too long and « giving off the friend vibe. » Finding someone interesting and having a connection with them doesn’t necessarily mean romance: those are things people do when they just make friends in general.

  9. Depends on the timeline. If it new then yes it does not have to be sexual at first. But if you go out then it has to escalate or she will not see you as a partner but just a friend.

  10. I think maybe it’s like one guy saying « To make eggs, you will have to make an omelette ». There are many ways to garner a woman’s interest apart from sexual innuendo and flirty banter. As there are also many other ways to make eggs.

  11. If girls ask you out on date, you are 100% attractive. If you’re unattractive or even average, this does not happen. So be sure you’re a handsome fella OP!

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