Dating : Why do some people like asking people out at short notice and invite you to their group outing on first dates?
Ive noticed online/real life, some guys that wanted to go on a date would be like, « hey my friends usually a group of 3-5) are going to XYZ, do you wanna come with us? » and its usually on the day of or a couple of hours before the event. It wasnt like they were asking me at late night where it was obviously a hookup, it was usually during daytime.
I usually planned things in advance so I was never able to make it, so I had to say no, I didnt feel like I was missing out or I was hurt, because guys who did the last min invite thing were usually the ones that I weren’t really interested in to begin with. And if I were interested in them, I would feel weird to have a group hangout on first dates. Like I didnt even know if we would get along yet, and suddenly I had to socialize and interact with all your other friends on a first date?
My question is, did they think people were usually sitting at home and had nothing else to do or planned? so they just randomly hit people up like that?
It seemed like they were just scrolling through their contact list on the phone a few hours before the event because they wanted someone to tag along for whatever reason, sending a bunch of people the same text and waited to see who would reply? And then, the next week or the week after next week, I would receive a similar text a few hours before. And I had to say no because I was out with my other friends already, then a week later, I would receive a random hey, with nothing else in the text. Does anyone feel like its weird?
For me, If I really want to go on a date with someone or get to know someone, I would typically ask the person a few days before, just to make sure that he is available on the day of, and also make sure that he can schedule things in advance. I value peoples time and schedules in general, even though Im only just getting to know them or even before knowing them.
I guess im just curious about what goes through their mind when they are sending those texts.
I do this so it doesn’t come off like a big deal to the girl.
I (19M) just did this recently. I was invited to go boating with my friends 5 hours before the actual boating, so I didn’t really have an option to ask more in advance. With that being said, I did scroll though my contacts list and send multiple women the same invite.
Oh I’m just like you, I like things planned in advance I feel less anxious. I gave in before and it just made me go right back to what I originally preferred because like you said the guy usually isnt interested in you like that.
You can tell when a guy is interested is when he listens to you and respects your views. So if you say you prefer to catch up on this date and both agree, then you wont wonder about it.