Dating : Why does it feel like no one takes any of this seriously at all?
I don’t mean needing to be serious about a relationship, or anything, I just mean the most basic of messaging. I get people are busy, that’s cool. But no one is so busy they can’t message once in two or three days. I just feel like I have no value anymore.
If they dont message you , they are not interested in you. spend your time thats better for you in the long run.
#Deep
Naaa some take it seriously.. just gotta find them:)
Firstly.. why are you letting the behaviours of other people determine your value?
You’re right.. some people are seriously busy. I used to think things like « it’s not that hard to tap out a ten seconds text and hit send » back when I had time to scratch. Nowadays .. man, some days I don’t reply to a single text from anyone, get home, roll into bed.. wake up and deal with it all the next day.
Sometimes I log out of apps (especially dating apps) because I just want to give myself a break from the incessant chatter. It can feel demanding and oppressive, the expectation that you’re online and accessible 24/7.
Sometimes people are assholes, sure.. mostly they just have their own lives and their own priorities
big mood
Because they are already talking to people who are really good at pulling off being a player and are jerking them around, so they give less attention to everyone else. The players, who don’t have to be hot or financially secure (just have to know how to talk to the opposite sex and are confident), are getting 90 percent of the mates without committing to any of them, and that fucks over everyone else including the people they are dating and other people who are serious about wanting a relationship.
If someone hasn’t messaged you back in 24 hours then assume you will not here from them again and block them. When you start to feel bad about yourself due to the opinion of strangers it’s time to take a break from online dating. I like to give myself a month to refresh on a regular basis. Hope this helps
What I’ve discovered from online dating is that the average woman is really rude and they have this entitled attitude where they believe they owe you absolutely nothing, while simultaneously demanding everything from you. I kind of knew this already from real life, but online dating really puts things into perspective – it definitely shows the true ugly nature of females.
Young women are the absolute worst. Older women have a bit more respect and politeness about them, although they rarely ever give a younger man a chance unfortunately. So as an average looking man in his 20’s or early 30’s (which I assume you are), online dating is like banging your head against a brick wall.
For girls: little effort, lots of effort = same attention. A lot of disgusting, thirsty people. Putting more effort doesn’t weed thirsty dudes.
For guys: little effort, lots of effort = same attention. None. More effort doesn’t equal better outcome because women have a plethora of options and you’re a fish in an ocean of dick pics
Online dating is like that unfortunately. A large amount of people (women+men) don’t seriously want a relationship and just like the validation/attention, hookups, or are looking for someone with unrealistic standards who probably doesn’t exist.
Honestly if it’s making you feel depressed I’d recommend taking a break from the apps and invest the time into talking to more, new people irl, at least as a guy they just made me feel terrible where I’d either get ignored most the time or the girls just wanted casual sex (not trying to brag here I’m actually not very physically attractive, just when I tried tinder especially it tended to attract that sort of crowd)
If you ask out some girl irl the worst that happens is she says no or something, I guess in theory there is a low likelihood she’s an asshole to you for asking her out but fucking huge bullet dodged if that happens, so no real loss other than the minor ego blow/short awkwardness. I was rejected by a couple of girls and one of them I’m still good friends with so as long as you’re both mature enough to handle it it’s not a big deal, plenty of fish in the sea, wouldn’t want to be with someone not into you etc. Plus if you meet them irl at some events least you know they are relatively social and that I think sort of « weeds out » a lot of people that might, for instance, be physically attractive but have a terrible personality or something who doesn’t fit in well in social situations
If you haven’t used it before, try and check out some random stuff on meetup and maybe try to branch out with some new friends from there, don’t treat it explictly as a dating service but just go out and have a good time with no real pressure, make some friends and see if something comes about from it. Either from girls you meet at the events or also hell if you have a close female friend you could try talking to her about it? From experience girls tend to know a lot of other single girls and love playing matchmaker if you’re a dude with a good personality/attitude about the whole thing
Anyway, good luck, dating is pretty hard especially if you’re a guy on the younger side, remember not to take it too hard and don’t judge your self worth at all on whether or not women want to date you on the apps.
I’m ok with not messaging anyone for two to three days. I need a break sometimes from socializing, it drains me out.
Why not just tell people your preferred communication? If you meet someone who has mutual understanding, kudos if not then do something you like that keeps you busy.