Dating : Why dont people my age want to date? (23 Male)
So let me state that I really dont mind being single but I would jump at any woman who is slightly attractive(personality is a huge thing for me). However, every woman I have met and talked to or asked out is only into hooking up/casual sex. I am not saying they are all like this, but it seems quite common for my age. Why dont most people my age want to be in a relationship? And yes I have reviewed the possibility that maybe I am just not their type or dont meet their standards. But after 5 years of being single and taking every chance and opportunity to create a relationship, I have been met with a sea of women who would only have sex with me and ghost. If youre a woman I would love to hear your response. Do you see this with your friends and the people around you? Relationships are so beautiful and amazing, I cant see why you wouldnt want to take a chance on one. All comments are appreciated.
I do see what you’re talking about. I do think it’s more common than not that people just want to hook up. But for me, I was never into the idea of sleeping around, partying, or even dating. I genuinely don’t understand the appeal of one night stands, friends with benefits, or relationships where you don’t hash out major topics like whether or not you want kids. But I’ve always been of the mindset that I want to find someone to grow old with. I can make myself orgasm just fine, so I didn’t see any value in losing my virginity to someone I didn’t love and who didn’t love me. I didn’t want someone to make out with; I wanted someone who would cuddle me when I was sad and when I wasn’t. I was always a sentimental, cheesy person. And I feel incredibly lucky that I somehow found someone just like me.
I don’t think that sleeping around or casually dating is bad of course. It’s just not something for me and not something I want to do with. Perhaps people find such things fun and more power to them. Some people want to see what’s out there, get experience. But not me. I’m someone who wanted to meet the one person I wanted to give everything to. I was perfectly happy being single my entire life too, since I understood in all likelihood, I wasn’t going to meet that person. But I did and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m not deluded to think everyone gets their happy ending or that there’s someone for everyone. So I always appreciate how fortunate I am.
I kinda felt that way with guys after learning that most of them weren’t looking for anything serious, but then I realised that this is the stage of life where there’s much growing to be done. There are people getting married, but also people with the mentality of high schoolers, so everyone’s still tryna figure themselves out. There’s so much to stress about (e.g uni, finding a job, maybe moving out, becoming a true adult), that there really isn’t any chance to worry about finding love.
I’m not perfect, and I notice a lot of things about myself that can be improved upon, so I think it’s best to work on myself before bringing someone else into my life. Adding on to that, I wouldn’t really want to enter someone else’s life if they’re changing in so many aspects at such a rapid rate too.
Sure, growing together is a part of why dating is great, but you can’t grow together if you’re not even sure you’re growing in the same direction. Hope that makes sense 🙂
When I was 23, I wasn’t dating or hooking up or anything. I was just focused on me. A relationship, at that age, was too much for me given the amount of things I wanted to do. I was well aware that a relationship would be a lot more effort than I was able to/willing to give. I’m guessing that’s why those girls who hook up are like that too (though I don’t understand the whole hooking up culture).
If I were you, I’d start asking serious questions to the women you date. If you’re 23 and want someone more stable, also consider a couple years older maybe? A lot of younger people nowadays are pretty immature.
I feel man. Im 21 M, about a 7/10, and really not into hooking up (usually don’t have sex if I do hook up with someone, just everything else), since I like to have feelings for someone/know them better before I have sex. But any time I try and take it further with someone after a hookup, it’s usually just “that’s not what I’m looking for right now” and I don’t understand it. Being close to someone makes hooking up much more enjoyable, and I really enjoy having someone that I can share how I feel with since as a guy there are not many opportunities for that. Honestly, it may be a generational thing, but I guess I’m kinda old school with how I talk to girls. Gotta just keep looking I suppose though, I’m not about to change who I am to fit into the hookup culture..
Im with ya!! I’m looking for a relationship too but everybody just ghosts me after sex
Ive been trying to go on dates with slightly older guys lately thinking “they’re more likely to want a relationship than the 21-22 year olds I’ve been seeing lately” but I still get dropped after we hookup :/ other people like us are out there though!!
For me -19M-the only way to find a relationship whith a girl is by frendship because when you become a friend with a girl you have that non-sex clarity + ladyfriend you can do more activities with a gf and she might just introduce you to the right girl . For me after having 3 ladyfriends -i am not gay –i don’t even need a gf or want a gf (sorry for misspelling-(