Dating : Women of Reddit, how would you feel if a guy you are dating, who is slightly younger than you, texts you often even though you are currently occupied with an ongoing commitment?
Hi, inexperienced 18 year old male here who is constantly overthinking and overanalyzing everything. I am currently seeing a lovely girl who I met in my first year. I started talking to her over facebook and we’ve went on dates since. Most recently, I gave her some candies and she baked me some candies and cookies in return. I think that means she likes me, but that’s besides the point.
I am genuinely curious about how her days go, but I am afraid to ask every day and worried that she may perceive me as this « clingy younger guy who won’t leave me alone or give me space. » I know that she has summer classes and that finals are looming over which is why I have been so hesitant to text her first. She is clearly a very high achiever and hardworker, and so I don’t want to distract her from achieving a good grade or doing homework, etc. That being said she has texted me first a couple of times. I always try respond promptly to show I appreciate it when she talks to me, but also because I guess those are the times I know for sure that she is free and open to conversation.
tl;dr I am dating a girl two years older than me, but she is taking a summer class right now. I always want to ask how her days go, but I am constantly worried about how she might perceive me if I do. As a woman in her position, how might you react?
As long as she is reciprocating interest during these conversations, you should keep it up. It’s good that you are aware of her outside obligations, so don’t get too bummed if she is busy.
I also am the kind of personality who tends to over-analyze things. A safe bet could be, let her text you first one time, then the next time you text her first, etc. For the most part, as long as you are not trying to initiate conversations 3-5 times a day or more, I would say that you are not texting her too much. Also, if she is responding quickly, I would assume that means that she wants to talk to you. I wouldn’t worry about distracting her from her studies. If she really is a hardworker like you said, she will let you know if she cannot talk and needs to study or do work, etc.
Good luck and try not to worry too much, sounds like things are already going well!
if you never initiate, she might start to think you’re not interested or not as invested as she is
I’d appreciate it if the guy I was dating checked in on me to see how my classes/days were going. It shows that you’re concerned. She shouldn’t mind.
Hey dude so I think it’s a good idea to text her first some times so it shows that you want to talk to her because if you let her text first all the time she’s gonna think your not interested but don’t text her for to long in case she is busy also let her know why you don’t text her that often if you tell her she will see that you really care
If you miss her, show it
There’s no need to text her at all, she’s texting you first so that’s great! All you ave to do is facilitate getting together at least once a week and work your magic face to face, not through a screen.
I’d be annoyed
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