Dating : Would you date an asexual person?
I am part of the asexual community, I don’t like sex but I do feel attraction towards people, I was talking with fellow ace people on my insta and the topic of dating allosexual or sexual people came. Some have dated them in the past, doing everything except for sex or some other things they weren’t comfortable with and I just became curious if there’s people that would agree with it (because I already kinda accepted that I would never date someone)
I personally think sex is an important and necessary part of a relationship and I think that sentiment is the majority of people. For me, it doesn’t even have to be penis in vagina sex. Or even need to have orgasms. What I thrive off of is the intimacy of exploring each other’s bodies and just feeling pleasure in a physical but not necessarily end goal is orgasm way.
But of course, there are asexual people in monogamous, committed relationships who don’t have sex. But while they certainly exist, they are a very extreme minority.
No because it wouldn’t feel like a real relationship. We would just be good friends. I wouldn’t want to pressure them into sex or hurt them by trying to get needs met with other people. Just seems like a absolute train wreck.
I wouldn’t. It’s too big a part of a relationship for me.
Nope.
I wouldnt. I go for a good personality but i do need the intimacy, warmth and trust that sex brings. i also just love doing it tbh, so it wouldnt work out in the long run.
I dated a girl who eventually discovered she was asexual. She was a virgin until mid twenties when we met. I had never heard of asexuality and i don’t think she did until time went on and we stopped having sex. I wouldn’t do it again because sex is at least 1/3 of a relationship in my opinion. The other 2/3’s are love and friendship.
Early on we had a solid sex life, good enough for me, so idk maybe there’s a spectrum of asexuality and she was on one end of it. Then it pestered out to essentially never. With plenty of me trying and getting rejected.
It was pretty depressing for me. Like not understanding asexuality it was like am i not attractive? Am i bad in bed? She said she orgasms soo idk. It was extremely confusing and hard i couldn’t wrap my head around how she could say she loved me but not want that side with me, but wanted to stay together. I felt I tried and she didn’t as much and that built resentment in me which built resentment in her.
She’s in a new relationship now and its like… was she just asexual for me? Is he also? or do they have some compromise he finds acceptable. idk we don’t speak much i just saw the status online.
No. Being asexual and dating someone who is sexual is like wanting children and dating someone who never wants to be around kids, makes zero sense.
No, we can be friends though.
You know, I probably would because I personally don’t absolutely need other people for sex but some people do. I mean, I could live without it the rest of my life and be fine. I wonder if there’s a name for not needing sex partners. I like sex, can take it or leave it, just don’t need a partner.
How much more emotions are more important than sex
sex is still somehow important
I think I could I might be ace I’m not sure, I’ve never had sex and it’s not something I think I need.
Sexual people will date sexual people. Sex is fun for us and a vital part of a relationship.
You can try dating other asexual people. Some date and some not. There is a sexuality filter on OkCupid for it. I used 6 dating apps and it’s the only one I found it in. Obviously put it in the bio too.
BTW, there are a lot of reversible causes of reduced libido (low testosterone, lifestyle/sleep issues, stress/depression, medication) that are worthy a sexologist consult.
Hope that helps!
For me sex is an important part of a relationship. I could not have a long-term romantic relationship with someone who was ace.
But there’s a whole spectrum of people out there, and lots of different ways to get needs met. I think that as long as you’re up-front about your orientation, you’ll attract people who will consider that a bonus.
If I were you I’d also give on-line dating another try. Of course there are people who just spam everybody looking for sex. They are gross. But all of us who want a relationship have to wade through the muck to find the gems. It’s so much easier to do it online than hoping that a random person you encounter will be a good match. I would have been on two dates in the past 12 years without on-line dating, and I’m a straight cis allo. You’ve got a more targeted audience. I definitely think you could have a relationship with someone on a different part of the spectrum, if they are going in with eyes open.
Honestly, no.
Nope, never.
How would it be different from having a best friend?
I put up with a dead bedroom for a long time, which I would never do again. I definitely wouldn’t date someone who is ace. We’re just not compatible.
I (F22) have a friend (M22) who is asexual. I am far from asexual. We sometimes have « dates », doing things as a couple that are somewhat romantic. But we don’t have sex. I don’t think I would ever have a relationship with him do to his being asexual. but we do have a good time when we are together. He does hold my hand and put his arm around me, and we do kiss. (I also kiss my mother; it means a little more with him.) I hope, and have told him, that he will eventually meet an asexual romantic girl.
He does not object to the fact that I have dates, sometimes involving sex, with others.
No.
Yeah. Sex isn’t a main point to me. It’s all about personality.