Dating : Chemistry: can it develop as you date?
I [21F] have never been in a relationship, gone on a date or barely kissed anyone. For some reason i can’t seem to meet guys IRL (and when i do they’re either gay or in love with one of my friends). So a couple weeks ago i decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out there. I downloaded tinder (it’s the most decent casual dating app where i’m based currently) and so far i’ve met with five guys. The 1st one was disappointing to say the least, 2nd one i was really into but he never texted me again so i assume feelings weren’t mutual, 3rd and 4th were really into me but i didn’t felt attracted to them in any way (in fact, #4 insisted on kissing me twice at the end of the date, despite me avoiding his approaches and pushing him away the first time).
After the fourth date i almost gave up, but had already made plans with guy #5. He was 15 minutes late, we ended up just walking around town, but i swear it’s the best date i’ve had so far. In fact, we are making plans to see each other again this week. The only problem is, i’m not sure i’m attracted to him. Part of me wants to see where things could go with this guy, but on the other hand i have to admit i don’t find him cute.
Should i give him a chance (assuming everything goes well on the second date), or will it be better to just move on?
I feel that none of the guys i do feel attracted to will ever like me back, so maybe i should settle for one that does? Even if they’re not my type?
So I dunno you but IMO you should give him a chance because it’s super early on. you’ve like had one date with him that you enjoyed and so everything is not serious atm. You’re dating to see what you like and if you like him despite what you prefer in looks, that’s good. If you don’t like him at least you had another date to confirm
If you don’t like him on that second date, do let him down lightly though… and be honest but considerate. I (25M) had a … good second date where the girl (32f) ended on the sourest note possible because she said I was “so young I can’t really see you as a man.” That… was harsh. And while I think us guys are fine if you don’t like a particular one of us… being nice about it is much appreciated
In my experience, you’ll start to find them more attractive as you develop feelings, been eventually that fades. Remember that he’s probably looking his best on a first date.
I did something similar with okcupid. 5 dates, first was terrible, then things got increasingly better the more comfortable I was meeting someone new. The 4th guy I went on two dates with; I didnt think he was all that cute either but boy die he make an impression on me! I found his confidence and easygoing nature sexy, I liked him more than the others! He was funny, intelligent, talented, and just a lot of fun overall. I realized that that mattered more than looks, to me.
But that was just me. I realized from that experience that I prefer meeting people in real life, and I dont mind working on my social skills more so that I can have those kinds of fun meetings
Maybe it’s not necessarily that he isn’t an attractive guy but just that YOU aren’t attracted to him specifically, but chances are someone else would be attracted to him. I really think your gut instinct is very important to figuring out if you are compatible with someone so if you don’t feel it then I would just move on.
Why did you go out with him if you didn’t find him cute?