Dating : Is anyone else getting numb to hookup culture & just want something real?
I see people around me in great relationships and I want that. Sure I’m able to hook up with hot guys but it’s empty at the end of the day. They just want sex, not a relationship
So stop hooking up with guys & stop wasting time with guys who don’t want a relationship. Not saying that *can’t* turn into a relationship but it’s unlikely.
You don’t have to participate in hook up culture. I don’t and I never have trouble finding guys who want something serious.
You’re making a choice every time you agree to sleep with someone who doesn’t want what you want. If you’re not happy, make a different choice.
What do you mean hookup culture? Where do i sign?
I am tired of hookup culture and throwaway culture. Both are disgusting and have taught people not to value others.
You’re clearly choosing the wrong guys…..
I want something real, but after over a decade of getting that desire beaten out of me by women who don’t actually want that despite their claims, now I’m recently trying hookup culture because despite people saying they want something real, serious, and/or long term, I’ve found, as a man, the moment you try to do that they turnaround and say they don’t want a relationship anymore and want to see multiple people and/or dive straight into fucking other men. I’m too new to this to have actually made any progress or any hookups though and I already hate it.
I wholeheartedly agree with you, but ask yourself if that’s what you really want considering you seem to be very into hookups already, which feels contradictory. I don’t know you and perhaps you do want a real relationship, but I’ve had too many negative experiences with people who say they want a serious relationship all day long and turn tail when the opportunity comes, for myself and others. How are you even in this situation? Think, have you passed on someone who could’ve been committed to you because they weren’t immediately fuckable « hot guys »? It’s not just men that are the issue and it sounds exactly like you’re preaching one thing while doing the other man.
Stop hooking up with guys that don’t want a relationship
You realise your gender controls all the sex right? You feed the beast and wonder why it’s so healthy
How are you all flying so blind?
There is a zillion guys that are desperate for a GF .. Actually they’re so lonely that they are willing to take any girl as their GF.
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Now I get why you don’t want a guy like that .. but that is the thing .. Most guys are ignored, while girls fight over the small group of guys that pump and dump them.
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I get it, you want something good .. and I’m all for it .. Go for the jackpot .. but here is the thing. It’s not really « hookup culture ». It’s just you not bringing more to the table than other girls and so don’t get offered more than sex from the guys you’d like to be with.
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Simple as that .. Bring more to the table … or settle for some average dude. Plenty of those would more than love to be in a relationship with you.
I’m at the opposite point rn where memories of my « real » relationships are so sour that I’d feel more at ease just hooking up. Maybe it’s a guy/girl dichotomy.
Well, I’ve never had casual sex before, but I understand how you feel though. Even though there have been a lot of time where I could’ve had it, and tbh I physically really wanted it, but mentally I could never really push myself to go through with it. Can’t really explain why, but it just didn’t feel the same as giving yourself to someone you truly loved and cared for. Sometimes I think back to those times when I could’ve went for it and think “damn that was a dumb choice,” but deep down I know I probably wouldn’t have been that happy with it in the long run
There are plenty of men who want something real. Just as many want hookups. You have to let a guy know what you want from the getgo so they know if they want to stick around. I’ve been in my relationship for 6 months. My boyfriend knew I wanted long-term going into marriage. That didn’t scare him off and here we are. I made it known what I wanted; I got guys who tried to get past that. I just rejected those, though most jumped ship when they figured out I was serious
Enforce Standards and boundaries to not accept low effort dates and men who just want sex. Weed them out. Don’t accept the bare minimum and read about tactics men use to get easy sex. Some are extremely manipulative and bad.
Become/show high value traits serious men seek for commitment. Adjust your target age and groups ie men below 28 aren’t looking for relationships typically as they aren’t financially secure in their career, have roommates, bar hop still, etc.
Men seek to commit when their options for easy sex decrease and they’re older and more settled. Google the age & circumstances men are more likely to commit and target that range. Substance over easily available young men.
Get fit, attractive, stylish, and approachable if you aren’t to attract the best and most partners. It’s an honest truth. If you have unresolved emotional or self esteem issues get therapy.
Many of us have or acquire some trauma. Work thru it to become a better you mentally…male abusers can sniff out and exploit weaknesses in others.
Have you ever had a relationship?
Nobody fucking cares bro
It’s too late now.
I never liked hook up culture
I’m an old school hopeless romantic. Google that and it’ll probably tell a lot about me. I was never into the hook up culture even during the days I felt extremely horny and felt like having a girl … Any girl on top of me would cure me of all my crap.
True, it’s very shallow. The point of life is to not to just have sex. It’s to make meaningful relationships that last and help you grow as a person.
Sure, people in romantic relationships have a lot of sex so it makes you feel like you’re missing out on that. But obviously relationships are so much more than that. You just need to grow out of thinking that relationships = sex so I need sex to feel good and compete with people in relationships. Makes sense ? Come to think of it, I’m sure there are a lot of people who think like this.
Apart from that guys are pigs. If they get sex without commitment and responsibilities, they’ll always be the first in line so understanding that hooking up is just that and no amount of glorification can justify it.
At the end of the day, know what you stand for. Know what you want and don’t want and stick to your choices no matter what. If you don’t like to hookup, nothing else should convince you to do otherwise.
Hope this helps !
As a man, casual sex has never been fulfilling. There’s something special about sex with someone who’s your friend and partner where you both desire each other continuously always anticipating the next sexual experience with trust for one another and commitment.
No I don’t want to be tied down by a woman. I like my freedom.
Very much so.
I personally have been getting numb to it. I’m 20 years old now and have had my fair share of acquaintances and am getting tired of it. It doesn’t feel as fun anymore. For example after I leave there house I feel a since of longing because I want to be able to see that person again and know it most likely won’t happen. However I do believe that overtime most people will start to realize this and start to pursue longer term relationships.
When you don’t date and have never really dated. Hookup culture sounds like an improvement.
Don’t expect too much sympathy here. The vast majority of guys here will never have the opportunity to experience this hook-up culture that vexes you so much. That said, I completely understand wanting more than just sex.
By now you should have figured out that the hottest guys have plenty of options and have no reason whatsoever to settle down for a single woman. Being able to bang a dude means nothing for your relationship prospects with said dude. Thus you should probably aim lower if you want a relationship. Do with this information what you will.
At least you get sex.
I wonder what hurts more a guy that gets emotionally invested in a girl who just wants a hookup, or a girl that gets emotionally invested in a guy who just wants one.
I would like to have the option of participating in hookup culture. I would prefer something real but neither is really happening
I’m almost 30, I absolutely feel this. In a relationship now, and it blows my mind how much the dating/hook up world has changed. It’s still a part of experiencing life and figuring yourself out with sex and such. But definitely as I’ve gotten older and dated, hooking up has absolutely been pulled out of my head, wanting this relationship to last and continue the love is what I’ve come to really want.
Hookup culture definitely has its pros and cons :/ I always tell myself I’m not gonna do it again but I need to feel loved whether it’s artificial or not. I feel like it just depends on where you are at this point in your life.
I want something real but would settle for hookups if I could. Neither is possible from my perspective, tho
Not going to lie yeah, I’ve only been in the hookup culture for a little bit, but it’s still just draining. Very fun in the moment, but once it’s over it leaves more to be wanted.
Not really I treat it as a challenge.
I’m somebody who wants something real. I am tired of all these girls with cam sites or just v trying to hook up. I’ll support you if you have an only fans or some other kinds shit but I don’t wanna have to sign up for something just to have to get to know you
I know exactly what you mean. I gave up at online dating because it all seemed so shallow and based around hooking up. Even though I had something in my profile saying that I wasn’t looking for a hookup and wanted something real I’d still match with girls who’s profiles would clearly state that they just wanted me to pay for their dinner and then maybe bang later.
I actually did manage to go on a date with a girl who seemed legit but afterwards she texted me saying something like she wasn’t « really looking for a relationship right now ». I guess she just felt like wasting my time then.
Probably most people
No, not numb and still found something real while hooking up.
HMU 8122716241 I’ll send a pic of me
I agree completely. Can we talk about it in pm or chat?
omg yes I am hooking up so much I can’t stand it. lol I get so much. I barely even have time for all the sex. it feels good but also wet.
Personally I feel like it’s easier to get into a relationship than to hookup. When I talk to girls I talk about the common interests we have to seek a connection. Idk how to flirt heavily. From what I understand one has to flirt heavily and inject a lot of sexual tension in order to initiate a hookup. I wish hooking up can be as easy as going up to a person and asking them if they’re down for some fun.
Yes, it gets old after a while.
You’ve got to slowly transition out of it. You can’t just snap out of anything. When you decide to meet someone new, set an achievable goal for yourself for eg. of number of dates you go on before you have sex, or try to look for atleast 5 green flags. That way you’re giving yourself a chance to know them but if it doesn’t feel right, you can leave and not slip into the hookup culture.