Dating : 22[F] never been in a relationship…or on a date…or in the talking stage.
Ok so I’m new to reddit and this is my first ever post so please bear with me as this may be all over the place. As you can see in the title I am 22 years old and have never been in a relationship. And I know what you’re thinking: thats’s not bad, but there’s more. I have never been asked on a date, AND I have never even been in what we call the “talking” stage with a guy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t think I’m particularly ugly, but one thing is my body is horrible. I’m 5’9 and I used to be 250 lbs. Now I am about 190 lbs on a good day, but my body is still messed up (flat butt, stretch marks everywhere, some loose skin, and a fupa).
When I go out with my friends, they all get approached multiple times and leave the events with so many numbers. But when it comes to me I’ll have only been approached maybe once or twice, and by people I’m not attracted to. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I’m getting to the point where I think I’ll never be in love.
I have tried tinder, but I am too embarrassed to meet someone that I met online because I am scared that once they see me in person they will be disappointed.
Please help me guys I don’t know what I am doing wrong. And please try not to just say “lose more weight” because there are many overweight people in the world that are in love or have been in love. So unless you can prove me wrong it does not seem like that is my problem. Thank you so much!
Hey! I completely get where you’re coming from, it makes me feel pretty bad when I’m out with friends and guys are trying to flirt with them all except me. But the guys who come to talk to you that way are usually not the type of guys you want to go for : some of them might be cool, but most probably they’re trying to hook up or just flirt with a girl that’s conventionally attractive to impress their friends. J know, because I’m now 5’7 and 180 lbs, but I used to be 110 for the same height, so I’ve been the girl they go to to impress their friends, and I swear 95% of the time you don’t want these guys anyway.
Onto the dating situation itself. First, I don’t think it’s weird to be 22 and have not experienced these yet. But if you want to changed that, a few leads:
– do you have guy friends? Or female friends who have guy friends? Meeting people through mutual friends at gathering is the best, because it’s chill, no pressure environment, you don’t feel like you have to impress, it’s about being friendly and relaxed, and if you have good mutual friends they’re more likely to be cool people you can get along with.
– associations and activities where you can mmeet people who share your interest. Again, not saying you’re not pretty, you probably are, but given how society is with body image and ideals, it’s best to start with environment that are less oriented towards physical appearance, especially if you want to date and not just hook up
– dating apps. I know, you’ve said you’re scared about tinder, but honestly, Ive gotten almost all my dates ever through tinder and OK Cupid. You just have to have full body pics so people have an idea of what you look like, and that way if they don’t like it, they swipe left, you don’t even have to interact with them! OK cupid is also good because it has a lot more space for writing about yourself, I’ve found a lot of super interesting people on there, and it’s a lot less based on appearances than Tinder. And people might not click with you for a bunch of reasons when you meet up with them, you might be different from what they expected in so many ways! Don’t sweat it too much, it’s a vicious circle that will be hurtful to your self confidence. I’ve met up with a guy who later admitted I was bigger than he thought, but that after our first date he liked my personality so much that it didn’t really matter, and he discovered he actually liked curves, so first impressions aren’t everything!
Look into dry fasting. It will kick your body into ketosis hard and activate autophagy which should eat up stretch marks and loose skin. Do your own research on youtube about fasting, ketosis and autophagy. I’ve been dry fasting and salt water fasting for over a year and it definitely works. Good luck!