Dating : 24 year old attractive female virgin (it’s very tiring)
I always seem to attract guys who think I’m an easy lay because I’m “good looking”. Then they run when they find out I’m a virgin, or the latter is they try and stick around for the challenge but get frustrated.
I literally offered this guy I’d been seeing for a month guy my virginity the other day because I’m getting to the point where I’m over it. But even then, he’d already tapped out because he was frustrated!!!
Damn it only took him a month to tap out? My wife made me wait four months. Been together for eight years. Just do what you think is right, if they don’t like it, to hell with them
I’m a 26 year old virgin by choice because I want commitment first – but that’s so weird how a guy will leave you when you open up about that. How long did the last guy have to wait?
You offered him sex and he said no because he was frustrated that you wouldn’t have sex with him? I don’t know about that… My intuition is that it’s probably something in your actions that is scaring these men off… Like maybe they feel like you’re getting too serious too quickly and don’t want the responsibility of taking your virginity because it might come with some kind of commitment to you that they aren’t ready for?
Jeez the toxicity in these comments.
As a 33f virgin I completely sympathize. I finally almost lost it to this one guy but he came down with a case of ED.
All I can say is keep trucking on. It’s not ideal to lie but maybe don’t mention it? If anyone asks just say it’s been a while.
are you me? this is legit my issue right now lmao.
You are only 24. You have plenty of time to find the right guy. Concentrate on you and making your way in the world. Don’t even put your viginity out there. Find a genuine guy that likes you for you, not your looks. Then if you want to give yourself to him, he won’t care.
You could be a virgin for multiple reasons, and people that judge you on that aren’t for you. I dated someone 3 years ago who was 25 and still a virgin. So many people do it for religion reasons, possible childhood trauma/trauma in general, just haven’t found someone.
If someone can’t accept that & does that I wouldn’t even bother with them.
I think the issue might be that your whole sexual identity consists of being a virgin. First and foremost, you’re a woman. Then you also have certain sexual preferences, are attracted to certain people with certain traits, you have a certain sex drive and certain opinions about the morality of sex, etc. And only then, there’s this tiny ephemeral detail about how the number of times you’ve had penetrative sex is currently zero. Instead of zero, you say ‘virgin’, but any other number doesn’t get a special name, even though similar numbers are about the same. If you’ve had sex once or twice, it’s not that different to zero times. Same for a hundred vs two hundred.
Virginity doesn’t define you, your sexually, or your worth. Instead of offering someone to have sex with a virign, you should offer them to have sex with *you*! A person with desires, fears, ideas and emotions, not someone that can be reduced to a description you’d use on eBay like « mint condition ». You’re not a thing, you’re not a vagina and sex is not something you do with just your genitals. You’re a sexual being that wants intimacy and sex regardless of their previous experiences or lack thereof. And I can promise you that after you lose your virginity, after that zero turns to a one, you’ll be the same person with just an iota of extra experience.
If you need the guy to be patient with you until you become intimate, or to take it slow, or to be gentle – express those needs and gauge his willingness to meet them. Those needs don’t have to be put under the umbrella of virginity, since they exist outside of it and are valid needs to have at any experience level.
So my suggestion is to stop identifying yourself as a « female virgin ». The number of past experiences you had shouldn’t really affect how well a guy treats you, or how attentive they are to you needs. A selfish person in bed will not magically turn into a great experience if you tell them it’s your first time, and a great partner doesn’t need to know you’re a virgin to treat you right. It shouldn’t matter, so you don’t need to present it as a problem or a major trait of yours up front. If by miracle the sex ends up being good, maybe throw a compliment at partner mentioning what a great experience it was for your first time, but I’d say that’s as far as you need to take it.
It is bad to hear this and the fact that virginity keeps you away the men away. This generation sees relationships as fast-food and never value commitment or try to understand the outliers who might be men or women.
Maybe try to be less blunt and do not offer your virginity directly to the guy you are seeing. Did he not make a move while spending time with you to take things sexually in a natural manner?
Don’t let things get to you keep it strong and you will always be strong in life !
I’m really not sure why many dudes haven’t figured this out yet, but in the case of adult virgins they likely have the same capacity to be horny as the rest of us.
All you need to do is provide a safe, comfortable, non judgemental, and arousing space and they will have just as good a time as any veteran.
The one difference is they don’t have the additional drive of viscerally knowing the potential upside of the event, so you need to have upfront drivers like really hot kissing for them to venture into the unknown with you.
I mean this is the case with any sexual hangup really. You understand the situation, you provide a space where they’re comfortable and you explore together and they can stop at any time.
Maybe those guys are just fuckboys that think you’ll overattach to them once they bang you. Maybe you’re attracting the wrong kind of guy for your needs. What do you mean by « frustrated »? Are you putting things too hard?
Pdta: I’d happily offer myself to help you with that, but I don’t think we’re on the same continent hahaha (here is nearly impossible to find a virgin woman older than 17).
« I’m an easy lay because I’m good looking » Isnt it the opposite ? I’ve never thought like that or known anyone that thinks like that lol
Story doesnt add up, there must be a very important detail missing.
Are you attractive? Every girl thinks they are attractive because even below average girls get a lot attention from guys who want to get laid
A month is a long time, I’m not surprised.
In this day and age it’s more likely that an attractive woman is lying about being virgin, so because of this they see it as a waste of time and move on to better options.
Do what you want. But a.month is pretty short time. I’d you want sex say it. If you want to wait on sex say it. If they don’t respect it dump them for being trash people. It sounds to me like your dateing boys and not men.
Really?? What guy would run away from a virgin?? There are guys that would pay half a million dollar to have sex with a virgin.
Stop acting like it’s a race. It isn’t a race.
What’s the frustration? I’m sure I’m missing something, I’ve never been with you virgin