Dating : 28(m) and about to enter the dating world for the first time. Ever.

Dating : 28(m) and about to enter the dating world for the first time. Ever.

I’m most likely getting divorced very soon. I have only been with two people. An exgirlfriend in high school for a few years and then my current wife who is leaving me soon. We were together almost ten years and we got together in highschool. Okay anyway now to my questions-

Is dating really as hard and miserable and everyone tells me? How long will it take for me to catch on to the rules of dating? How do I find a companion instead of hook up culture?

Context: Im probably a 4-6 out of 10 in attractiveness depending on the day. Hitting the gym though. Highly educated but.. student loans. Terrible financial situation currently but good prospects the near future. Oh and now living with my mom. Great.


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What do you think?

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  1. It is what you make it in your head.

    « most likely getting divorced very soon » is not very definitive. Focus on finishing that up cleanly before you worry about « dating ».

    The conventional wisdom is at least 18 months post divorce before you get your sea legs. That’s pretty good advice, your emotional and mental state will be a cluster fuck for that 18 months. Just be honest with people.

    Also another thing you should consider is figuring out how to get out of Mom’s and learn how to live on your own.

    If you can’t live on your own, you don’t know yourself well. Which opens you up to dependency or co-dependent relationships with people you find fast when you don’t understand yourself.

    1) actually get divorced.

    2) learn how to live on your own 100%

    3) then start dating, and don’t overthink it.

    Good luck

  2. Dating is not as bad as most people make it out to be (22F), I’m a 6/7 out of 10 on a makeup free day and a decent 8 almost 9 on a makeup day.

    Living with your mom will be a hindrance if you are American (I’m not, so culturally it’s not strange to live with your parents until you’re either married or they kick the bucket, sometimes both sides of the family all live together, I grew up with all my family living on the same street and nobody moved out until they were married)

    In terms of hookup culture, it’s all up to you and the people you seek. Just go with the flow

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